Friday, March 6, 2026

The Blind Reading the Blind

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As I was driving home today, I saw a blind guy sitting on a bench. He had his dark glasses on and his mobility cane leaning against the benc...
Sunday, March 1, 2026

One in a Million Shot

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My son and I were out playing frisbee today in the front yard. He was very concerned about throwing it in the street and hitting a car. It r...
Friday, February 13, 2026

Night of the Living Dead

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I had to wake my mom up this morning because the cleaning lady was going to be at our house shortly after. I was expecting her to be a littl...
Thursday, January 22, 2026

The Car Wash

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There’s a car wash around the corner from my son’s school, which is packed every day. Sometimes, I see the same people going in there every ...
Thursday, January 15, 2026

The Tiny Toothbrush

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Have you ever been brushing your teeth in the morning and thought to yourself, “Man, my hand looks gigantic on my toothbrush. I’m holding th...
Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Emotional Underwear

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I heard a song today that had lyrics that said, “my emotions are naked.” I guess if your emotions can be in the buff, then you can also have...
Friday, November 28, 2025

Stew-Pid!

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I love how my mother-in-law says the word ‘stupid.’ It comes out as ‘stewpid’ instead. Which honestly just seems more fitting anyway, especi...
Thursday, November 6, 2025

Gecko Freak Out

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Spousal Unit: “Uh…there’s a lizard on the freaking ceiling.” Me [looking up]: “Yep, there sure is.” Spousal Unit: “Well, aren’t you going to...
Sunday, October 26, 2025

Goofy

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Spousal Unit: “Do you know what I heard today? Apparently, they found another planet in our solar system. It’s a lot like Pluto, but a littl...
Saturday, September 6, 2025

Uber Black

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Javan: “My mom is almost here. The Uber Black picked her up about fifteen minutes ago.” Spousal Unit [whispering]: “Did he just say Uber Bla...
Friday, August 29, 2025

Insane

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Me: “I know it should be obvious, but I feel like I still need to verbalize it. Can you please make more of an effort to coordinate the clip...
Saturday, August 9, 2025

Margaritas are Greek

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My Wife: “We’re going to the place with the cheese sauce.” Me: “AnnaMaria won’t like that place.” AnnaMaria: “No, I will. They have margarit...
Friday, August 1, 2025

Richelieu

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After over a year Cardinal-free, the stupid red bird is back again.  I found him outside attacking the mirrors in the tree again almost as i...
Saturday, July 19, 2025

Dogged Determination

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I’m sitting here at the park, watching this woman distractedly walking her dog. I say distractedly, because she’s yammering away on her cell...
Friday, July 11, 2025

Product of the Technological Times

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Today, I was looking at pictures of my wedding in a photo album when I got to one that had quite a bit detail in it.  It was of the buffet a...
Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Jesus in a Shopping Cart

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Tonight, at my men’s group, one of the guys asked the group if we ever had awareness of God’s presence during our day-to-day activities, lik...
Saturday, June 21, 2025

Napping Naked

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Is there anything better than taking a nap in the middle of a Saturday afternoon without a stitch on? The feel of the soft sheets against yo...
Friday, June 20, 2025

The Roadrunner

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There is a roadrunner that lives in a copse of trees near the golf course. I’ve seen him at various times running around the neighborhood, l...
Monday, May 26, 2025

Death of a Friend

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I am sad beyond consoling. One of my oldest friends was killed tonight. She has been my constant companion, sleeping with me almost every ni...
Saturday, May 24, 2025

Innovative Features

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After owning my Nissan Maxima for eight years now, I finally learned why the car honks at me every time I put air in the tires. I have been ...
Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Fight or Flight

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When I was in high school, we lived in a house in a little city in the middle of Houston, TX. It was an older home from the 1970s that has s...
Saturday, April 26, 2025

The Mimic

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MT was telling us a story about her daughter, OT, when OT was four years old. OT was riding in the car with her father one day in traffic, w...
Monday, April 14, 2025

Bum Rock

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A house around the corner put some decorative rocks in their flowerbed. This declaration isn’t all that astounding on its own. However, two ...
Sunday, March 23, 2025

Sitting Next to a Knight

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I went to church today, and I was sitting there waiting for the service to start. A couple came into my row and sat in the seats next to me....
Thursday, March 6, 2025

Gender Identification

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My spousal unit discovered that she had an issue today in her lab. When breeding mice, it’s important to keep track of which is male and whi...
Wednesday, February 26, 2025

A Dog's Life

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I grew up with dogs as pets. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my life when we didn’t have a dog. And after my parents got divorced, somet...
Friday, January 31, 2025

What is the Time?

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My mother-in-law is in town for visit. Every day, I come downstairs and ask her if she’s hungry and would like some lunch. Every day, withou...
Saturday, December 28, 2024

A Study in Green

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I have asked my spousal unit to write her next research grant on breaking down and identifying the underlying components in flatulence. My h...
Sunday, December 1, 2024

Freeeeedooooom!

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A little baby just ran by me, running from her mother and screaming, “Liberty!!!”
Monday, October 7, 2024

Personalized Underwear

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I had a dream last night that I was the director on a movie. Before we began shooting, I bought everyone in the cast a pair of underwear wit...
Saturday, October 5, 2024

Hard of Hearing

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Me: “As I’ve gotten older, I notice that I talk to myself more.” My Mom: “That’s okay. Wait until you have to start asking yourself to repea...
Wednesday, October 2, 2024

The Alien Parasite

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Spousal Unit: “Do you want pizza for dinner?” Me: “It doesn’t matter what I eat. I’ll be dead by tomorrow, so sure, why not.” Spousal Unit: ...
Wednesday, September 25, 2024

The Lab-Warming Gift

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My spousal unit has been setting up her new lab for the past two months now. As a lab-warming gift, I got her a coffee mug that said, “My Hu...
Saturday, September 21, 2024

The Ool

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When I was growing up, the neighborhood pool had a sign out front that said: Welcome to our OOL. Notice there’s no “P” in POOL? Let’s keep i...
Sunday, September 15, 2024

Parent Drop-Off

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I passed an elementary school today that had a sign out front that said, “Parent Drop-Off / Pick-Up.” I guess this is where kids go to get r...

To-Go Order

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We ordered breakfast this morning. But since I was already out in the car for an impromptu shopping trip, my spousal unit asked me to pick i...
Saturday, September 14, 2024

The Intimate Encounter with the Sink: Day 3

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Today, the reds in my bruise have dissolved into a faint orange with the yellows becoming more pronounced. I told my mom that I had moved in...
Friday, September 13, 2024

The Intimate Encounter with the Sink: Day 2

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Today, the bruising has now started moving back along my eyelid. It’s actually a pretty blend of reds, pinks, and yellows, and it almost loo...
Wednesday, September 11, 2024

The Intimate Encounter with the Sink: Day 1

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Around 2:30 this morning, I got up to use the restroom. No, that’s not the significant part of this story, but it lays the groundwork. I did...
Friday, September 6, 2024

Spooky Meetings

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Yesterday, on a whim, I bought this Halloween mask from the store. I’m not really sure what I’ll do with it, but I liked it, and it was rela...
Saturday, August 24, 2024

The Talking Shoes

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When I was in high school, I had a pair of talking shoes. They were a pair of black Converse All-Stars where the sole had separated from the...
Saturday, July 20, 2024

Chicken Fingers

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I love chicken fingers. I really do. But I realized something today as I was driving in traffic. If I eat chicken fingers, then there's ...
Saturday, July 13, 2024

Sorry Gay Driver

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On the way to the mall today, I passed a car with a bumper sticker on the window that said, “Sorry Gay Driver.” My first thought was, “What ...
Friday, July 12, 2024

The Memory Hoarders

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CC was trying to relate a story about his son today, and I realized that he was struggling to remember it, because he doesn’t write things d...
Saturday, June 15, 2024

Notes from a Madman

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Sometimes when I’m driving, I’ll ask Siri to take a note for me. I’ll go back months or years later and find the notes and have no idea what...
Sunday, June 9, 2024

Just in Case

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As we prepared to leave the house today for a birthday party, I found myself standing at the sink, scrubbing dishes and thinking. I realized...
Wednesday, June 5, 2024

The Cardinal: Revenge

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So, I did a little tree pruning on my oak tree in the backyard last weekend, because the grass under the tree wasn't getting enough sunl...
Friday, May 31, 2024

The Bus is Coming

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Shortly after I got married, I had this recurring dream four nights in a row. It was always the same, so I took it as an omen of my future. ...
Friday, May 17, 2024

Day of Selfishness

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Based on a recommendation from a total stranger at the Disney Store today, I decided to declare today a Day of Selfishness.  The man said th...
Thursday, May 16, 2024

Fuel on the Fire

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This morning, my spousal unit told me that she was worried about the grant she left behind at her previous job. Her new employer told her th...