Thursday, June 7, 2007

The Three Rules of Conversation

Have you ever been having a conversation with someone and been annoyed at something they were doing? (Like someone’s eyelids drooping while you are talking.) And whatever that thing is it makes you want to stop talking to that person and just walk away? I have a pet-peeve, if you will, called the “The Three Rules of Conversation.” I tend to get annoyed and stop talking to someone if any of these things are abused during a conversation. In case you ever talk to me, I thought I would forewarn you. These are in no order of importance since I value them all equally offensive.

1.) I don’t like to be interrupted. I understand that this is sometimes unavoidable as you may need to ask a question of clarification, point out something on the side of the road that will be gone in a matter of seconds, or state some fact before the direction of the conversation has drifted too far away for the comment to have meaning anymore. But as a rule I hate to be interrupted.

2.) I don’t like to repeat myself. I understand that there are exceptions to this as well, like when the person you are talking to is hard of hearing or the venue is noisy. But as a rule this just comes off as whatever I was saying wasn’t important enough for you to be really paying attention to in the first place.

3.) I want your undivided attention. If it is important enough for me to say it, then it should be important enough for you to REALLY listen to it. I want eye contact. I don’t want you paying attention to everything else going on around us. If you agreed to go out with me, then be there with ME and not everyone else. I want to feel that you are truly interested in what I have to say and that you would drop everything to hear it. (Even if this isn’t true in reality, it is good to feel that way.) This is probably the biggest cause of irritation for me since it usually leads to me having to repeat myself and being interrupted so someone can ask me to repeat myself.

I am sure everyone has these kind of pet peeves. I would be interested to hear what irritates you in a conversation. Then maybe I can avoid doing them to you when we talk!