Monday, April 30, 2018

Coincidence

HR was telling one of her running friends about her encounter with God, involving the mattress, the bookcase, and the truck.  This friend is supposedly a Christian, which at this point in HR’s journey, represents an authority; someone to be believed and trusted, someone who can offer confirmation.  What he told her was that all of those things were coincidence, all except the man walking out of the apartment right after she had prayed about it.  That was the one single act where God had moved.

If this friend is truly a Christian; which after that statement, I have my doubts; then he failed HR miserably.  None of that was coincidence.  It was the workings of a beautiful plan, set into motion before we even perceived it.  It was the checkmate in a complex game of chess, where the Almighty had been moving and positioning pieces into place with a strategy and a plan to where those pieces were going to be needed later.  God doesn’t just drop in every once in a while, He is always there, making moves.

Imagine for a moment that HR’s neighbor bought that truck ten years ago.  The neighbor had no idea when he bought that truck that he’d need it to help HR move.  And when all those opportunities came along when he thought to sell it, but he changed his mind, he never dreamed that he was hanging on to that truck to help HR.  He didn’t even know HR yet.  Neither one of them had even moved into that apartment complex yet.  But God knew.  He already knew that one day, ten years from now, HR was going to pray for help, and He was going to have the answer ready.  Her prayers were a delight to His ears.  He loved her so much that He wanted to reward her faith.  So, he set a plan into motion ten years before she needed it, with each move leading to the next, until it finally culminated into that precise moment when a list of seemingly random events finally all made sense.

That is not coincidence.  That is a deliberate act by an all-powerful God who can transcend time and space.  If you truly believe that God can only move in that single moment to bring that neighbor outside, then you are limiting His abilities.  I think HR’s running friend was in that moment an instrument of the devil.  I believe that he was repeating lies to HR; lies that he had heard from a sinister force bent on distorting miracles with the aim of inserting doubt and destroying belief.  I believe the devil is scared that HR is starting to believe that God exists, that He is listening, and that He cares about her.  He doesn’t want her to have a relationship with God, so he is trying to kill it before it can grow.  But have no doubt that God wants HR, and He will not give up without a fight.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Other Prayers

I have never understood when someone tells you something terrible or rough that is going on, and then they ask you to pray for them or someone else.  First of all, don’t they know that they have a conduit directly to God?  They don’t need someone to intercede on their behalf.  Second of all, do they really think that God will not act unless enough people pray for it?  This is not an election where people vote to enact a policy.

And by asking, it takes out the chance that I might act on my own choice, and demonstrate my own faith.  I might have prayed for them anyway, and because I made the choice without having to be asked, I would have been more passionate and enthusiastic about it.  I would have been more moved in my heart, drawing on my faith, rather then checking something off the list.

A friend once told me that God wants us to sometimes ask for things more than once.  The delay and the asking builds our faith, because the more “disappointment” we face, the more faith it takes to keep asking.  But if we pass the task to someone else, then how is it building our faith?  And if we ask someone to pray, and they do it, is it really building their faith?  Wouldn’t it have built their faith more, if they would have done it on their own?  Are we actually taking away an opportunity for someone to build their faith by asking them to pray, instead of giving them the opportunity to do it without being asked?  And if they didn’t pray, do we really believe that God won’t still answer our prayer alone?

Saturday, April 28, 2018

The Perfect Storm of Emotions

There is something so beautiful about a movie that touches you on an emotional level.  It slides past the surface of entertainment to move something in your heart…in your soul.  You may not even be aware of why or how you connect with it, just that you do.  You are a part of it.  You are in it.  You cry.  They might be tears of sadness.  They might be tears of laughter and joy.  But you cry.  You can’t help it, and you can’t stop it.  It is so deep, so touching…so you cry.  And when this happens, you just let the tears come.  You don’t try to stop them.  You don’t wipe them away.  You just let them snake down your cheeks and soak into your shirt.  Because it’s real.  Emotions that you have been holding back, bottling up for weeks, months, or even years, suddenly come rushing out in a torrent.  Everything you have, everything you feel is in those tears.  It’s cleansing and cathartic. 

And it was a movie that brought it out of you.  Someone wrote that script, someone acted it out, and someone directed and produced it.  Without ever knowing you or how it would affect you, they put that project together.  And with that work, they managed to evoke something deep inside you.  Chances are that if you were to have seen that exact same movie at a different time, it would not have had that effect on you.  It was a perfect storm of emotions.

And other people can’t understand it.  They walk in, and they see you crying at a movie, and they don’t get it.  And that makes it all the more beautiful, because it’s rare and special.  You are connected like nobody else.  Nobody feels like you do.  Those are your emotions.  Those are your tears.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Loathing and Needing

It really sucks when you need something from the one person that you’re not currently talking to.  My wife and I are in “tiff mode” again for some reason that eludes me.  I’m pretty sure that this time it was actually her fault, not that she would ever admit it.  This means that she is going out of her way to distance herself from me and not utter a single syllable in my vicinity.

However, this morning, she needed help adjusting her undergarments, because they were cutting into her back.  It was something that required two people, and lo and behold, she suddenly realized that the only other person in the house was the one person that she had spent the last 24 hours avoiding. 

That is both a humbling and irritating moment all at the same time.  I know because I have been there many times.  It is amazing, though, how something so simple as adjusting an undergarment can make the last 24 hours just disappear.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

The Butt Seat

MR was telling me today that he just ordered a custom seat for his motorcycle.  He said this one is more like a saddle, where “you sit in it, rather than on it.”  He was describing the process of how they make the seat, which requires not only sending in your old seat, but also sending in pictures and measurements of your backside. 

I couldn’t help it, I had to ask him how he was taking pictures of his backside, imagining him trying to do a butt selfie.  And he replied that he had to have his wife do it.  This of course set off a series of images in my mind of MR posing, jutting his backside out and instructing his wife on how to get the best angle to make his backside more flattering.  I started imagining MR doing a model shoot with his wife saying things like, “That’s it, that’s it, work it…the camera loves you!” or “Come on, give me more steam…it’s steamy…you’re hot…show me hot!” or “Ride that motorcycle…ride it…show me what a baaaad man you are!” 

I was laughing so hard, I was crying.  MR looked at me like I had lost my mind.  Apparently, he just had to sit on the motorcycle, and she snapped a few pictures, so they could see his posture and style.  But I think my imaginings are better.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

The Little Prayers

HR has finally had enough of the cat neighbor, and she’s moving apartments.  It’s just to an apartment complex a block away, so it’s really not that big of a deal.  However, she got down to the last two pieces of furniture, which were a bed and a bookcase, and she realized that she had no way to move them in her little Honda Civic.

As she stood there pondering her predicament, she noticed that there were three pick-up trucks and a Suburban sitting outside her apartment.  Not for the first time, she rued having never taken the time to get to know her other neighbors better, so that she could ask for help.  She stood there staring at the Suburban, thinking that it would be perfect for moving her stuff.  So, she decided to do something that she never does…she prayed to God.  Specifically, she prayed that God would provide her some way to use that Suburban (this is a perfect lesson with prayer, always pray for what you want…be specific and don’t hold back…you have nothing to lose in the asking).

Less than one minute later, one of her neighbors walks out of his apartment, sees her with a car full of boxes, and asks if she’s moving.  They get into a conversation about where she’s going, and she jokingly tells him about the bed and bookcase and her prayer to use that Suburban.  He looks at the Suburban, then back at her, and says, “That’s my Suburban.”

It was at that moment, that God had floored HR.  He had heard her prayer and answered almost instantaneously.  There is no coincidence to something like that.  It is supernatural.  Only God could do something so amazing and specific.  But the story doesn’t end there.

The neighbor said, “But it would take two trips in that, why don’t we just use my pick-up truck right here?  Let me grab my keys.”  He proceeded to help her load the furniture into his truck, drove it over to her new apartment, and then unload it.  He asked her how she and her partner were planning to get it up to the third floor.  Not wanting to impose on him further, HR told him that they’d manage somehow.  To which the neighbor replied, “I worked for a moving company one summer, I got this.”  And he hoisted the furniture up by himself and muscled it up the stairs.

You see, God doesn’t just give you what you want.  He gives you what you need.  HR may have wanted the Suburban, but God provided her a truck instead, so that she could make less trips.  And she never dreamed of having assistance to get it up to her apartment, but God gave her that too.  Never be afraid to pray the little prayers, and never doubt that God is listening.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Sexual Squeaking

Years ago, my spousal unit was in a lab at Texas A&M that up and decided to move to Missouri.  Not wanting to start her PhD over for a fourth time, we decided that she should move with it.  At the time, I thought I would easily be able to find a job and quickly rejoin her in Missouri.  But God had other plans, and for the next year and a half we lived in separate states.  But that is not this story…

My spousal unit and I would talk on the phone every evening, sharing our days with each other, expressing how much it sucked to live apart, and generally trying to stay connected.  It was during one of these nightly conversations that she complained about the woman living in the apartment above her.  Apparently, this woman had a healthy sexual appetite and would satisfy her urges at all hours of the night and day.  (Later observations revealed that it was in fact different men going into her place.  To which I declared that I thought she was actually a call girl, using her body to pay her way through college.  This was never proven factually, but I still think I was onto something.)

At first, I thought my spousal unit was overreacting, as she is sometimes wont to do.  But after several nights of hearing the same complaints, I finally asked how she knew that they were having sex.  To which my spousal unit replied, “Her bed squeaks…a lot.”  She proceeded to describe the pattern, which was apparently always the same, whereby it would start slowly and then pick up speed, until my spousal unit was sure that the bed was actually lifting off the floor.  Never voices or any other kinds of noises, just the perpetual squeaking.  Honestly, I laughed when I heard this.  What else can you do?  It was so absolutely ludicrous.

A month or so later, I went to visit my spousal unit in Missouri, and I had completely forgotten about the call girl upstairs.  Suddenly, around 2 o’clock in the morning, I heard this eerie squeaking echoing through the bedroom.  Slowly, slowly it got louder and faster until it was an almost indistinguishable crescendo of high-pitched noise peeling through the otherwise silence of the night.  It was followed by a few minutes of thumping and then it just as suddenly stopped.  The whole event probably only lasted five to seven minutes, but it was enough.  I was wide awake.  I looked over at my spousal unit’s face silhouetted in the blue light of the clock, and she was smiling at me.  “I told you so,” was all she said before she rolled over and went to sleep.

When it happened again the next night, I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the plunger, and I started throwing it against the ceiling, hoping that the noise would make them realize that they were not alone in this endeavor.  Of course, I wasn’t prepared for it to suction-cup itself to the ceiling and stay hanging there; stick dangling tantalizingly out of reach as an insult to injury.  I stood, staring at that stupid plunger stuck to my ceiling, wondering how I was going to explain it to anyone that came over, listening to the rhythmic music being played in the apartment above us.  The minutes ticked by, the thumping, and then silence.

Suddenly, the story that I had laughed at over the phone was annoying and real.  There was no way that I was going to endure this all weekend long.  So, the next morning, I got dressed, and I headed down to the hardware store to buy a can of WD-40.  I took it upstairs, and I placed it in front of her door with a note taped to the side, “Your bed squeaks.”  The rest of the weekend was peaceful and quiet.

A few nights after I had gone back to Texas, I once again was privy to my spousal unit complaining that the squeaking was back.  This time it was occurring early in the morning, late at night, and sometimes even in the middle of the day.  She was making up for lost time by taking on several “clients” a day.  No longer laughing, I called the apartment complex office and complained to the manager.  She asked me what I would like for her to do.  I said, “I want you to talk to her.  I can’t control what she does in her home, but at the very least, she needs to do something about the squeaking.  Obviously, the WD-40 isn’t working.”  She asked me what WD-40 I was referring to, and I told her about the can and note.  She snickered, and then she composed herself.  “Well, this is very awkward.  There is no precedence for something like this.”  I replied that there was a noise ordinance in the complex that there was to be no loud noises after 10 p.m., and this was definitely a loud noise.  She assured me that she would take care of it.  The noises stopped, and all was quiet for about three weeks.

Once again, the ominous squeaking made a vigorous return, and once again, I called the apartment manager.  One more conversation with the call girl upstairs, and the next thing we know, a moving truck was parked outside, and she had moved out.  I’m not sure if she was that annoyed by our complaints, or if she was afraid that the police would find out about her side business.  Either way, we no longer had to worry about being woken up by the sexual squeaking upstairs.  I still woke up, but it was because I was now bothered by the stupid plunger hanging from the ceiling.

This event taught me a valuable lesson…this is why people invented noise-cancelling headphones.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Maniac with a Mop

Every Monday evening, my wife has a group of women that come over to our house to break bread and have a Bible study.  When we first started hosting, we would meticulously clean every inch of our house every Sunday.  And I mean clean…dusting, vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing the bathrooms, doing the dishes, taking out the trash and recycling, cleaning every surface of the kitchen, making the beds with the fancy comforters, and straightening up the couches and cushions in the den.  This is not to say that we are normally dirty people.  On the contrary, we keep our house tidy as a general rule.  But something manic would come over my wife, and she would insist that everything needed to be deep cleaned.

We have been hosting for several months now, and I realized this week that we barely did anything to prepare.  We went from manic, deep clean to “eh” we might get around to it.  Honestly, I don’t think the women notice the difference.  I don’t think they ever realized how much work we were putting into it, nor do I think they required or cared for that level of “clean.”  We were only doing it to ourselves.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Samwise Gamgee

I was watching the Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King tonight, mostly because it’s about the 25th time that they have shown it.  There is a scene near the end of the movie where Frodo and Sam are at the base of Mount Doom.  Frodo is laying on his back, and he tells Sam that he can no longer go on, that he’s lost in the darkness.  Sam, covered in grime, exhausted and worn out from sleepless nights, staying awake to keep an eye on Gollum, looks down at Frodo, and he says, “Let’s end this.”  He follows up by saying that he might not be able to carry the burden of the ring for Frodo, but he can carry Frodo.  He proceeds to lift Frodo off the ground, flings him over his shoulders, and starts to slowly trek up the side of the mountain of fire.

As I’m watching this, I think to myself, “Now that’s the kind of friend I need!  Someone that will pick me up, carry my butt up the side of a mountain, and throw me into a river of fire!”

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Shallow Hal

They have been showing the movie Shallow Hal quite frequently on cable lately.  I thoroughly enjoy the movie for its concept, screenplay, and dialog.  There is just one thing that is hanging me up…

For those of you unfamiliar with this movie, it’s about a man, Hal, who is superficially hung up on the outside appearance of women.  In all other respects, Hal is a genuinely nice guy, caring and fun.  But because looks are the first thing he uses to judge people, he never makes it past the surface to their inner beauty.

One day Hal gets trapped in an elevator with Tony Robbins, the famed self-help guru, and shares his trouble with dating.  Tony hypnotizes him, so that he no longer focuses on the outer looks, but focuses on the inner beauty.  This transforms Hal’s world, as he starts to be attracted to women that he didn’t look twice at before.  The comedy of this comes when everyone else around Hal can still see them for their outer looks, and there is a disparity between the way Hal describes them and how they see them for real.

Which leads me to the thing that hangs me up.  Hal doesn’t see EVERYONE differently, only strangers.  For example, his best friend, Mauricio; his neighbor, Jill; and his co-workers are still portrayed and seen exactly the same.  My first thought on this was that he was seeing them the same, because they were genuinely portraying themselves exactly as they are.  But then I took it another level deeper and realized that the writers of the screenplay had a fundamental dilemma to overcome.

Hal COULDN’T see them differently, because then he’d realize something was up.  So, everyone he already knew is exactly the same, so that his brain has no awareness that he’s been hypnotized.  I realize that Tony Robbins could have layered that into the hypnosis, so that his brain wasn’t aware, but I’m not sure it would have “taken.”  The brain is a wonderous thing, and if the “trick” is too far-fetched, then the brain will reject it.  It had to be plausible without pushing the boundaries of what the brain would accept.  I realize that I probably analyzed it way deeper than the writers.  They probably thought about this, and then just decided that either nobody would notice, or they wouldn’t question the fact that certain people didn’t change in Hal’s mind.  Or perhaps they just thought this would add to the comedic irony of it all.

But it made me wonder about how I would see the people around me.  Would they appear more beautiful, more ugly, or exactly the same?

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Shattered Bowls

Today, my heart is overflowing with love.  I dropped my glass bowl today in the kitchen at the office.  I had just finished heating up my lunch, and I was carrying it back to the table, when the lid came off of it, and it dropped to the floor and shattered.  The sound it made was like a gunshot that echoed through the open cafetorium.  My lunch, as well as hundreds of tiny glass fragments, went everywhere.

Being no stranger to broken dishes, I set about pushing the glass into a little pile, so that it at least wasn’t creating a dangerous situation.  As I was getting some of the shards furthest from the scene of the crime, I turned around and HR and SB were at the other end of the kitchen, squatting down and pushing glass from the other direction.  They had left their lunch to come check on me, saw what had happened, and stayed to help me clean it up.  It wasn’t their job.  It wasn’t their mess.  They just did it, because I needed help.

I can’t tell you how touched I was by this act of kindness.  I felt so lucky, so loved by that simple gesture.  I have a great group of friends that I eat lunch with.  They proved that not only are they great company, but they have great hearts as well.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The Invisible Competition

I had an incident happen at work today that I found out later was a known issue on the team.  I was furious, because it could have been prevented if someone had just shared the knowledge after they had been through it, instead of waiting for me to go through it myself.  As I was complaining about this with HR, she shared some insight with me.  People gratefully accept knowledge, but reluctantly give it away.  Knowledge is power, so the more you have, the more powerful you are.  But if you give it away, then it dilutes that power, making your competition more powerful and thus leveling the playing field.

I was stunned by this idea, because I don’t think of people as competition, especially within the same team.  I think of us as a family all trying to help each other be the best we can be, because it will make the entire family better as a whole.  But apparently each individual is constantly looking at everyone else as someone that will get something they should have or keep them from getting something that they deserve.  So, they are constantly looking for ways to make themselves more valuable and set themselves apart from this invisible competition. 

Which means that I can expect to have other issues in the future that could have been avoided.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

God in Unexpected Places

I had to take my car to the dealership today for some routine maintenance.  As I was waiting for the shuttle driver to come back, I heard the Parts Director shout out from his office to the guy working the parts counter.  He said, “So, Nick, were you asking because you are afraid for your salvation, or because you just wanted more knowledge about the Bible?”  They then proceeded to have a conversation about the message of the Bible, different versions of the Bible, and the best way to approach a Bible study.

I was so taken aback by this conversation.  Here they were having an open conversation about God in a public place with no qualms about who overheard.  I’m so used to people hiding their faith because of who might be offended by it, that I wasn’t ready to hear it discussed so openly.  It was amazing and nice.

So, I decided to step into the Parts Director’s office and tell him.  He then struck up a conversation with me, and we talked for the next hour about God’s diminishing role in society, the breakdown of values, the dissolution of marriage, and the fragmentation of the family unit.  All of it correlates to people removing God from their lives or giving Him a lesser role to play.

But what struck me the most was that here was this man who had never gone to college and was working at a modest-paying job at a car dealership spouting such wisdom and insight.  By society’s standards, he wouldn’t be revered or thought educated or successful.  He was just an average man that most people would overlook.  But God was doing great work in this man, and he was receptive to it. 

What a strange place and way to encounter God.  What an unexpected way to start my day.  But also, amazing!  As VJ said, “Wow!  Just wow!”

Monday, April 9, 2018

Untrusting Compliments

I realized today that some people don’t trust compliments.  They’d rather you put them down because it aligns better with how they feel about themselves.  Even if the compliment is true, they believe it’s a lie, because it’s not how they see themselves.  They leave no space or possibility that someone else might see them differently; see them for more.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

The Sounds of Silence

My spousal unit keeps complaining that my snoring is keeping her up at nights.  I have even been relegated to the guest room the last couple of nights so that she could finally get some rest.  I adamantly refuse to believe this nonsense.  I stayed awake all night one night listening, and I never heard myself snoring even once!

Friday, April 6, 2018

Always Be Aware of Mirrors

Yesterday, I shared my bad experiences at my first job.  Today, I want to relate a funny story that happened there.  The bathrooms were located down a little hall off the main sales floor.  The men’s room was first with the women’s room behind it, both off the left side of the hall.  Immediately upon walking into the men’s room, there were sinks and a very large mirror on the righthand side, so that when someone opened the door, anyone in the hall could see the people at the sinks.

One day, RF came to me and said that she’d gotten a very disturbing report from one of our female customers, and she wasn’t sure what to do about it.  I inquired what the customer had said, and RF told me that she’d just seen the private parts of one of our technicians.  Inquiring further on how this could have happened, RF related the story that the female customer was entering the hall for the bathrooms when one of the technicians crossed by in front of her and entered the men’s room.  He had flung the door open, so that the female customer had a clear view through the door and into the mirror over the sinks.  The technician had apparently already pulled out his private parts while still walking across the bathroom, and everything was visible in the reflection of the mirror.

My first reaction was to burst out laughing.  My second was to ask what the customer had thought about it.  RF took the bait, and responded that she hadn’t been very impressed actually.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Two Weeks Notice

My first job out of college was working at a retail electronics store in Houston, Texas.  It wasn’t exactly a dream job for someone that had just graduated with a degree in Computer Science, but since the market was flooded with people with similar majors the year before, I didn’t have a lot of options.  I was hired as a floor salesman, which basically meant I was supposed to wander around the floor and ask people if they needed help with anything.  This is a lofty goal when you don’t know anything yourself.  I was trained in software development, not the correct tool to use to crimp an RJ45 connector on Cat-5e cable.  But I learned, and learned quickly.  I was thrown in the ocean, and it was swim or drown.

This job was tough.  It was the only job I have ever quit after only two weeks of employment.  It wasn’t the hours, or having to learn to be extroverted, or even the hyper knowledge gain.  It was the manager of the store.  He was…to put it nicely…the south end of a northbound mule.  He was slick, oily, egotistical, entitled, and pompous.  In short, he was a salesman.  He was very good at getting people to buy things they didn’t need, but he had no business being in charge of other human beings.  But he craved power, and he spent every day lording what little he had over us.  Combined with my volatile temper and aversion to undeserved authority, this was a power keg waiting to explode.

And it did, two weeks in.  I had had enough of him bossing me around for no reason.  I’d no sooner get done moving entire sections of tools from one part of the store to another, then he’d tell me to put them back.  Why?  Just because he didn’t like to see me idle.  The final straw came when he told me to come in early one morning to do inventory.  It was just the two of us, but he decided that inventory was beneath him and refused to assist.  That was fine, I was used to that.  While he went to the kitchen to make himself some coffee, I was set to count stock on the register endcaps.  I was just finishing up the first one, when he burst out of the kitchen and asked me if I’d counted the hard drives yet.  I told him that I was still counting the end caps and would get to it when I was done.  He lost it.  He started yelling at me that I was taking too long.  I was losing it too, and through gritted teeth, I told him that I was only one person, and that I was doing the best I could.  This set him off again on some tirade about me being insubordinate, so I dropped my clipboard right there on the floor in the middle of the store.  I stomped over to the hard drives and started counting.  He started screaming for me to go pick up the clipboard and finish the end caps.  I stopped and stood in the aisle glaring at him.  I didn’t say a word, just stood there.  When he finally asked me what I was doing, I simply responded that I was waiting for him to make up his mind.  He yelled for me to finish the counts and then stormed off to his office. 

I did finish the counts, and I finished out my day.  Then, I went to his office and quit.  That night when I told my father, he got onto me for quitting a job before I had another one lined up.  He demanded that I go back to the store the next day, apologize, and ask for a second chance.  He didn’t really care about the inappropriate behavior of the manager or the emotional stress I had endured.  I was at fault, and I had to fix it.  And I did.

I went back to the store the next day, and I apologized to my manager for my behavior.  I ate crow for something that he had provoked while he sat there grinning in victory from the other side of the desk.  I spent every day of the next year looking for another job.  I shut my mouth, and I took everything he dished out; every nonsensical request, every moment of him taking credit for my hard work, every verbal beratement in front of customers…even being chewed out over the public intercom system across the store.  It was the first of many jobs that God would put me in to grow and mature me; to teach me both job skills and relationship skills.  I hated that man with every fiber of my being, but I learned a lot from him.  I learned the kind of person not to be, and I learned to appreciate a halfway decent manager when I see one.

Here I sit sixteen years and five jobs later, and he is still there…still stuck in that same dead-end job as a store manager for a retail electronics store.  His aspirations of moving up the corporate ladder and into upper management dashed, because he opened his big mouth to the wrong person (and sexually harassed the wrong person, if the rumors are to be believed).  I hope he’s mellowed out a lot and that he’s not still yelling at people in front of customers across the store.  Amazing that even after all of these years, the very memory of that still gets my blood boiling.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Both Order and Chaos

Since I became a manager, I have spent my first two months trying to bring order to the disarray.  I have introduced defined processes that are consistently used to better assist us all do our jobs.  And you know what?  It’s worked.  We are slowly, slowly becoming like a well-oiled machine.  People have manageable work-schedules, they have a balance of work, and their jobs are consistent and regular.  Which has made people bored.

Apparently, people find more interest in chaos.  It’s more unpredictable and challenging.  It takes them out of their comfort zone and forces them to push themselves to more than they even knew they were capable of.  So, while on the one hand, it burns people out if endured for too long, it also makes it more interesting and engaging.  In an effort to reduce their stress levels, I have actually made things worse for people.  I guess to do it right, it will take a balance of both order and chaos working together in harmony.

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

A Moment of Silence

VJ was telling me about a Christian retreat that she went to where they requested that everyone take a vow of silence for three hours.  They were supposed to use this time to mediate, read their Bible, pray, and listen for God’s voice.  By removing the distractions from life, they would better be able to hear it.

While I think this concept is beautiful, I’m not sure I could make it for three hours without talking.  I can barely make it for three minutes.  Heck, my spousal unit even complains that I talk all night in my sleep!

Monday, April 2, 2018

Infrequent Usage

One of my nieces was featured in an art exhibit last weekend, so my wife and I stayed with my brother.  I’m not sure what was wrong with me, but during the course of two days, I probably used the bathroom nine times…used the bathroom…like for long durations (that’s as descriptive as I’ll get, use your imagination).

My brother and I used to joke about how infrequently my brother would use the bathroom; sometimes going days or a whole week in between times.  He apparently also didn’t like using the bathroom at work, so he’d wait until he got home.

After this last weekend, I now know why he went so infrequently.  He had somehow managed to find the coarsest toilet paper to supply in his bathroom.  I’m all for saving money when you can, but toilet paper and facial tissue are places where an indulgence is warranted.  If you’re repeatedly rubbing something on a sensitive area, then it should be soft and gentle.  Of course, I’m assuming that this is consistent throughout the house.  Maybe he keeps the good stuff for himself and only puts this out for the guests!

Sunday, April 1, 2018

I’m Exploring

I saw a man at the gas station today that had on a shirt that said, “I’m not lost…I’m exploring.”  I know in its simplicity that it’s supposed to be a joke, but it’s kind of beautiful too.  It denotes a wild sense of adventure.  A spontaneous jaunt into the unknown.  A free spirit unconfined by typical social norms.