BK walked past this guy, how should we say it, of the darker persuasion, and the guy had his pants riding just above his kneecaps. He had on a belt, but BK could only surmise that it was only there to make the guy walk funny and to keep his pants from going completely to his ankles.
After BK was past the guy, he turned and shouted, "Hey, bro, you have a skid mark in your underwear!"
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
My Horn
The horn on my car is pathetic. I'm too embarrassed to even use it. It's this weak, barely audible "beep, beep." But that really doesn't do justice to just how pathetic it is. Every time I hear it, I imagine this weenie, timid little man saying something to the affect of, "Excuse me. Uh, could you please not cut me off like that? I mean, you know, if you feel like it. You don't really have to, if you don't want, but it'd be nice if I didn't have to swerve off on to the shoulder. Not that swerving off on the shoulder is a problem by any means. I just felt bad about the swatch of wild flowers I just took out with my tires. You know, on second thought, just forget I said anything. You're right, it's your road, and I had no business getting in your way. I hope you have a nice day."
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Coffee Pot
This morning the coffee pot made a "pfft" sound at me. That's the best way I can describe the sound it made as I "compressed" out the last few drops from the canister. It was mostly air with a few drops of coffee that sprayed all over the place. Does that signify that your day couldn't possibly get much worse, when the first thing in the morning, the coffee pot basically tells you to f-off?
Monday, March 7, 2011
The Chirp
DH said that he was awoken by a chirping sound at 2 a.m. on Saturday morning. He tracked the intermittent chirping all over the house until he finally figured out that it was coming from the smoke detector upstairs, telling him that the battery was low.
How come smoke detectors always wait until the middle of the night to let you know they're about to die? Is that something designed by the engineers to give them a chuckle on slow nights?
How come smoke detectors always wait until the middle of the night to let you know they're about to die? Is that something designed by the engineers to give them a chuckle on slow nights?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The Woodpile
BK was telling me that he trained his dog to go get logs off the woodpile and bring them up to the house, so BK doesn't have to trek out to get firewood during the winter.
BD told me that his dog has a similar talent. He goes and gets the logs and piles them by the backdoor, then his dog takes them and drags them back out to the woodpile. In his mind, I'm sure the dog thinks he's helping. He probably thinks BD needs more exercise or something, so he's trying to help by forcing him to walk back down to the woodpile.
BD told me that his dog has a similar talent. He goes and gets the logs and piles them by the backdoor, then his dog takes them and drags them back out to the woodpile. In his mind, I'm sure the dog thinks he's helping. He probably thinks BD needs more exercise or something, so he's trying to help by forcing him to walk back down to the woodpile.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
If You Write It, Nobody Will Read It
I realized my complete insignificance at my job today. My team was meeting to discuss the tasks that were left to do. The project leader made a comment that he felt that a lot of the requirements were being missed in the code, mostly because he didn't think the programmers were reading my requirements documents. So, he point blank asked them, starting with the fact that he was guilty of not always reading them. One of them said that she tried, but sometimes she got too busy and didn't always make it back to the documents. The other one said that he didn't read the documents, nor did he have any intention of reading them. At least he was honest, I guess, but it still hurt.
No intention of reading them. I guess they provide no practical benefit to him. I guess outlining exactly what the system should do, the steps describing exactly how it should do it, and pseudocode to further show how it should be accomplished is useless. Then again, that's probably why I write up more defects on his code than anybody else's. His stuff doesn't work as expected. There's stuff missing. But who cares? It doesn't matter what the client wants. It doesn't matter that missing requirements puts the company into risk of liability. It doesn't matter that the users of the system will lose money in their accounts, because he decided that he wanted to do this calculation before that one.
My favorite part is when I write up a defect, and he blames me for it. Says that I didn't document it correctly in the requirements document. How would he know?
No intention of reading them. I guess they provide no practical benefit to him. I guess outlining exactly what the system should do, the steps describing exactly how it should do it, and pseudocode to further show how it should be accomplished is useless. Then again, that's probably why I write up more defects on his code than anybody else's. His stuff doesn't work as expected. There's stuff missing. But who cares? It doesn't matter what the client wants. It doesn't matter that missing requirements puts the company into risk of liability. It doesn't matter that the users of the system will lose money in their accounts, because he decided that he wanted to do this calculation before that one.
My favorite part is when I write up a defect, and he blames me for it. Says that I didn't document it correctly in the requirements document. How would he know?
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