Have you ever wanted to punch one of those annoying team mascots? Well, when I was sixteen I got the opportunity. S.W. and I were attending an indoor soccer match in our hometown, and while I have no idea what the name of the opposing team was, I do remember that their mascot was named Pico de Gallo. He was this giant jalapeno pepper, complete with sombrero…and he was extremely annoying.
S.W. and I were walking around the arena when we came across Pico harassing fans of the hometown team. He started taunting us, and when that didn’t get a reaction from us, he started pushing me. I turned around and told him calmly to quit. To which he flipped the hat off my head. I reached down, picked it up, and put it back on my head. He promptly flipped it off again. And that was the end of my patience.
I don’t know what came over me, because violence is usually my last resort. But that stupid pepper had pushed me too far. I hauled off and punched him right in his huge, red pepper nose. I didn’t knock him off his feet, but that huge sombrero did throw off his balance, causing him to stagger back into the wall. I must have hit him harder than I expected to because his nose was completely dented in and he wasn’t quite looking out the front of his pepper anymore.
I casually walked away, as a security guard rushed up to help Pico compose himself. I’m sure I would have been thrown out of the arena had Pico’s shouts of anger and surprise not kept the security guard occupied long enough for me to make my retreat.
Be warned, Pico! I haven’t forgotten you! You are still on my list!
