Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Black Market Milk

When I was in elementary school, I took my lunch almost every day.  The only thing I bought at school was chocolate milk to go with my food.  I had a pre-paid milk card that was good for one dinky carton of milk a day.  There was no way that that one carton was going to satiate my thirst, so I used to make trades and craft deals for other people’s milk.  Then the problem became that I was hungry all the time, because I didn’t have enough food.

I solved this problem by betting people that I would eat disgusting combinations of food on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, if they gave me their milk.  And I did.  Chips, green beans, macaroni and cheese, meat loaf, peppers…whatever their limited minds would suggest.  I look back now, and I’m thankful that nobody suggested the dead roach in the corner with the dust hanging off its legs.