Monday, August 27, 2007

I Love You More Infinity

Most every couple has some cutesy thing that is just between them. Something that makes their relationship special. It might be a look, like squinting your eyes at your partner in a manner of “sizing them up.” It might be a gesture, like high-fiving when one or the other of you does something awesome. Or it might be a word or phrase that is reserved only for the other person.

It is the last one that I am going to talk about today. My wife and I have many, many things that define the specialness of our relationship, in fact, we do all of the above mentioned and more. But I think we would both agree that the one thing that is most special to our hearts is our use of the phrase, “I love you more infinity.”

Due to both of us having a highly competitive nature, it quickly became apparent that saying “I love you” wouldn’t be enough for us. Invariably, one of us would say it and the other one would say, “I love you more.” This of course would spark off a long debate over who in actuality loved who more, leading to comparisons of arm length, heart size (based on the size of your fist of course), who was taller, whose stride was longer, and several other seemingly trivial things that love could be gauged on.

Thus, the end-all phrase of “I love you more infinity” was adopted. Because everyone knows that since infinity has no bounds, that if you love someone infinitely, then of course you love them more than they could possibly love you. But we managed to even turn this into a competition, so that every day it would be a game to see who could say the phrase first! And thus you would be “king” or “queen” for the day.

We even devised rules of fair play for the game:

1.) The words must be said in their entirety and in the exact order stated above. Missing a word or switching them around was cause for discounting your claim.
2.) The game would reset each day at midnight, thus giving everyone a chance to claim a whole day of loving the other more.
3.) The phrase could be said in other languages granted it was said in its entirety and in the correct order.
4.) The words could be written or spoken, using any medium available.
5.) Any disputes as to who won a tie would of course be deferred to the King of the Family for ruling.

The game brought out my more crafty side, and I devised highly imaginative schemes to get her first. I used to get up before her, and after my shower I would wake her up with the words. Then I started with the post-it notes. I would leave them in places that she would see them, like the bathroom mirror, the coffee pot, or in her shoe. Sometimes we would start to say it at the same time, and it became simply a game of who could actually say the words faster.

After she left for Missouri, it became necessary for me to get even more devious and dirty. I would call her 1 minute after midnight and wake her up to tell her. I would call while she was in the shower and leave a message on her answering machine with the time I called (just in case she tried to dispute the authenticity). And sometimes I would send her e-mails or IMs when I got to work, so they would be waiting for her when she turned on the computer.

Now, I must brag a bit here. At a point about 2 and a half years into our marriage, I announced that I was going to quit playing the game. When she asked me why, I replied that it didn’t seem quite fair since I was winning by a score of 876-2. (Her 2 wins only coming, because I was forced under threat of bodily harm to let her “love me more” on my birthday.)

At some point I did continue playing again, and it has been a heated competition ever since. I suppose I should admit at this point that my wife’s record has improved a bit, but I still hold a sizable lead over her!

So, what kind of cutesy things did or do you have in your relationships?