Monday, October 25, 2010

The Bullies


There has been a lot of publicity in the news lately about bullying in schools.  But you never hear about bullying in the workplace.  It happens.  We might try to disguise it with different terms, but it’s still bullying.

Last year, I was a victim.  The lady sitting next to me seemed to have it out for me, for no particular reason.  She would eavesdrop on my conversations and phone calls, as well as collect gossip from my project leader.  Then, she’d twist the facts to make up plausible, yet completely false, stories about what I was “up to.”  Finally, she’d file a complaint with my supervisor about my elicit activities.  Of course, I’d get talked to about it.

A friend of mine is going through it now.  A colleague of hers has decided that she doesn’t like my friend, and has started causing trouble for her.  She’s reported that my friend takes an excessive amount of time off, not just vacation and sick time, but breaks from her desk as well.  She’s spied on my friend, and collected chat history and e-mails to use against her.  My friend was not as fortunate as me, and was recently written up for her behavior.

The short-term consequences of this form of bullying is a vast amount of unnecessary stress and mental anxiety.  The long-term consequences can be much, much worse.  So, why do these things happen?  Did we do something to our attackers to cause them to take revenge on us?  The answer in both situations is, “No.”  We are victims of bullies.  People who enjoy the misfortune and pain of others with no discernible gain other than a sense of power over their victim.  They think nothing of the consequences of what they’re doing.  They don’t care if they destroy someone.  To them, it’s a game.

Unfortunately, it is just as mentally draining and frightening to try to deal with the situation as an adult as it is as a child.  There are consequences for retribution, whether that be starting a smut campaign of your own or just punching the person out.  In fact, the consequences can be, in a lot of ways, worse for an adult.  You have families, bills, and responsibilities to think about.  You can’t afford to lose your job or possibly go to jail.

So what can we do?  Pretty much the same thing as we did as a kid.  We either endure it and pray the situation fixes itself, or we leave and go somewhere else.  What else can we do?