Wednesday, November 24, 2021

The DJ

We used to have a guy on our team that would always introduce himself on customer calls by using his first, middle, and last names. This was especially odd because he actually went by his middle name. But what was even odder was that he also switched to his “radio voice” when he’d get on the calls. It was a very dramatic, very exaggerated enunciation of every word with dramatic pauses thrown in for extra effect.

“Hello! This is Samuel…James…Henderson, and I’ll be your ITL…on this project.”

And he did it the exact same way on every…single…call (see what I did there).

“Hello! This is Samuel…James…Henderson, and I’ll be your ITL…on this project. If you have any issues…any issues at all…I’ll be the person…that will assist you.”

I always imagined that what would follow next after this introduction would be something like this.

“If you’re caller…number four, you’ll have the privilege of being the first on your team to complete…end-to-end testing. Simply wait until you hear Believer…by Imagine Dragons…and then call into our studios. Make sure you say the phrase…that pays…‘I work with Samuel…James…Henderson!’ And now a word…from our sponsors. The sales team will now come on…and promise a bunch of things…that we won’t be able…to deliver.”