Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Wedding Memories – Part 5 (Cake)


Me:  Two weeks after the last wedding, we finally had a reception in the United States.  We rented out a greenhouse at the Gardens of River Oaks, which afforded us a beautiful scenic view, lots of light, and the perfect space to end our crazy month of wedding events.  Since we had kept the wedding itself to just close family, we opened up the reception to everyone else.  We had a pretty good turnout, not too large and not too small.  Just the intimate kind of thing we were hoping for.

We did all of the traditional things that people do at wedding receptions; toasts, first dance, etc.  But the thing that really stuck out was the cake.  My mother had made the cake with several tiers separated by Greek columns.  There were little stairways going off one of the main tiers to smaller tiers on the side, and there was a groomsman and bridesmaid on the stairways for each of our wedding party.  Laying haphazardly all over the cake were beautiful orange, red, and gold maple leaves made out of sugar.  The cake encompassed all the parts of all of our weddings perfectly.

Spousal Unit:  I was really looking forward to the reception in Houston.  It was the first time I was going to be able to share my happiness with my friends and colleagues, and it meant that all of this was finally winding down.  We could finally start to live a normal life.  My new hubby did a perfect job picking out the location.  The greenhouse was beautiful.  It was just a small affair, but it felt cozy, like everyone there was family.  We kept it laid back, which was perfect.

Me:  We cut the cake, and I forked up a piece to feed it to my wife.  We had agreed that we didn’t want to smash it into each other’s faces, so I teased her with the fork moving it around so she couldn’t bite it.  Finally, she grabbed my wrist to stop my movement, and that was when disaster struck.  The piece of cake, which was sitting lightly on the fork, flew up in the air.  I watched in slow motion as it arced perfectly and dropped right down the front of my new wife’s dress, sliding cozily between her cleavage.  Being the gentleman that I am, I graciously and anxiously agreed to go in after it.

Spousal Unit:  The myriad of weddings, stress, and running around over the last month had caused me to lose quite a bit of weight.  My wedding dress, which had been snug when all of this had started, was now barely hanging on.  My bridesmaids had had to use quite a few pins to cinch it up and keep it from sliding right off me.  I was doing okay, until I had grabbed my new hubby’s wrist and watched in slow-motion horror as that piece of cake flew right down the front of my dress.  Had it been a few weeks earlier, and it would have just harmlessly bounced off my breasts.  But with my dress being baggier, it went right in and made a home in my cleavage. 

I instantly slapped my hands over my breasts and started laughing in disbelief.  When my new hubby offered to go in after it, I started laughing so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes.  I eventually fished it out of there and somehow managed to feed a piece to him.  Truth be told, I was very tempted to smash it in his face after that.

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