Insane

Me: “I know it should be obvious, but I feel like I still need to verbalize it. Can you please make more of an effort to coordinate the clips you’re using to close the cereal bags to the color of the cereal box?”
Spousal Unit [laughing]: “Absolutely not! I will not be held accountable for that kind of craziness. If you want to be in charge of that, help yourself.”
Me: “This is a perfectly reasonable request. I’m not sure why it’s not keeping you up at night, like it is for me.”
Spousal Unit: “Because I’m not insane!”
Me: “Pfft! That’s something an insane person would say. Besides, your refusal to coordinate the clip color to the box color would suggest otherwise.”

Margaritas are Greek

My Wife: “We’re going to the place with the cheese sauce.”
Me: “AnnaMaria won’t like that place.”
AnnaMaria: “No, I will. They have margaritas.”
Me: “Did you know the Spanish word ‘margarita’ means daisy, like the flower? The one with the white petals and yellow center?”
AnnaMaria: “Yes, we have the same word in Greek.”
Me: “Margarita or daisy?”
AnnaMaria: “We call both the drink and flower ‘margarita.’”
Me: “Wait, I thought all words had their root in the Greek. So, how could that be if margarita is Spanish?”
My Wife: “We incorporate words from other languages into ours.”
Me: “Well, then of course every word has their root in the Greek, because you just steal words from other languages and call them Greek!”
AnnaMaria: “I think margarita is actually Greek.”
Me: “You can’t be serious! ‘Margarita’ is not Greek!”
AnnaMaria: “Let’s look it up. It says here that it comes from the Greek word ‘margaritari,’ which is Ancient Greek for ‘pearl.’”
Me: “Wait, are you using a Greek website to look that up, because of course they would say that it’s Greek?!”
AnnaMaria [laughing]: “I’m using Google.”
Me: “You can’t use that either, because Google is Greek! What else have you got?”
Georgios: “It says the same thing on the deep web.”
My Wife: “So, there you go!”
Me: “That doesn’t mean anything. You can’t trust what you read on the internet.”

Richelieu

After over a year Cardinal-free, the stupid red bird is back again.  I found him outside attacking the mirrors in the tree again almost as if he had never stopped.  I guess it was too much to hope that he had finally moved on and found someone new to antagonize.  Since he's going to be around year after year, I decided to adopt the little guy and give him a proper name.  After all, I can't keep calling him "stupid red bird" anymore, now can I?!  So, the only fitting name is "Richelieu" after the famed Cardinal from The Three Musketeers.  I have to admit that giving him a name has softened my stance on the determined little bird.  And though I will deny it in a court of law, I sort of missed him while he was gone.