Northern Immersion - View from Behind the Wing

Today, we flew from Athens to Belfast.  In total on this trip, I have taken six different flights so far.  On every one of them, I have been in the row just behind the wing.  I have been on both sides of the aisle, in the window seat, in the middle seat, and in the aisle seat.  But no matter what, I have been in the exact same row relative to the wing of the plane.  My view out of the window is always the same view.  Every picture I have taken out the window has been a different landscape or skyscape with the exact same view of the wing.  I have two flights left before this trip is complete, and I have every confidence that they will see me sitting behind the wing as well.

We got a rental car from the airport, so we could drive around Ireland.  Russ helped us at the EuropCar desk, and not only was he extremely nice, but was a wealth of information.  He was a young guy and patiently answered all of our questions like he’d heard it all a hundred times before.  He was the perfect guy to be working that desk.  He hooked us up with free sat nav as well, since he laughingly took pity on the foreigners.  We ended up in a VW Golf, which proved to be interesting when we tried to fit our five suitcases inside.  But somehow we managed with some Tetris Level – Expert arranging.

Since we’re in one of those “backwards” countries, the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car!  We thought this and the driving on the wrong side of the road thing were going to be issues for my wife.  But in the end, that isn’t what got her.  It was an unlikely culprit that caused her the biggest issue.  She claims the brakes on the car are uber-sensitive.  Every time she “gently” pushed them, I was slammed into the dashboard.  I had whiplash and a headache by the time we made it to the hotel.  Not to mention the backaches and neck strains from the 100-pound force of the two suitcases on the back seat ramming into the back of my seat.  I have never been so thankful to get out of a car in my life.

I think the driving on the wrong side of the road thing will slowly manifest itself as well.  Last night, we had a panicked moment when we got to the roundabout, and my wife had no idea which direction to take around it.  She chose to drive straight through the middle…I guess that works too!

We had trouble finding the Fitzwilliam Hotel, because even though the hotel is on a corner, the name is only on one side…and it is written small and fancy, making it hard to find in the dark.  We also found out that they don’t have free parking for hotel guests, so we had to pay for valet parking service.  I hope this isn’t like this everywhere we go, because this trip is going to get really expensive very quickly.

It was late, so we grabbed dinner at the hotel bar.  My wife said the Caesar Salad was good, lots of chicken, very little salad.  My Fitzwilliam Hamburger was terrible.  Breakfast will be interesting as well, since it’s not included with the room.

Northern Immersion - That awkward moment…

…when you came over to visit with my wife and her English-speaking husband, and you make eye contact with the husband, and you realize that all of you are speaking Greek with a speed and energy that is making it hard for you to understand each other and the English-speaking husband is sitting by himself completely left out of the conversation and not understanding a word that is said. 

You have two options at this moment.  You can try to engage the English-speaking husband in conversation to try to make him feel more comfortable, knowing that your English is not very good, thereby making yourself a little uncomfortable.  Or you can break eye contact, look away as if you never saw him sitting there, become even more involved in the on-going conversation, continue to make the English-speaking husband uncomfortable while preserving your own comfort, and think to yourself, “He came to Greece, so he should be speaking Greek.”

Both of these choices have happened to me, but the second one happens more often.  Tonight, I even predicted this would happen before it happened.  I told my wife that the cadre of people coming over to “visit” with me was really coming over to visit with her.  They would speak in Greek, so I wouldn’t understand them, and I would sit in silence and be bored.  And when Androula, Ioannis and his wife, Kostas, Irini, Mirto, and Alepetha came over tonight that’s exactly what happened.  Only this time, I decided that I wasn’t going to just sit in the background and be ignored.  So I let my wife visit and enjoy their company, and I went to the den and watched football with babas mou.  This helped to pass a very enjoyable evening for me, even if I was being a little “rude” to our guests by not being in the same room as them.  Ironic, isn’t it?

Not much else happened today.  The only other highlight was Georgios took the jerseys he had bought me and got my name put on the back.  On the AEK jersey, he got my name, like I was one of those one-named Brazilian players.  On the Greek national team jersey, he got Derekithis (Derekithis), which means that I am from Pondi, the region that babas is from.  Babas loved this tribute to his people, so I was happy too.

Tomorrow is packing and traveling day.  We leave Greece after our quick week and head back to Ireland.

Northern Immersion - Freeze the American

Day 6 of cold showers, and I find myself huddling as close to the laptop battery as I can to warm up.  I guess I should explain.  Apparently, in this house, showers are traditionally taken at night, not in the morning.  In addition, the concept of a water heater is foreign (pun intended).  Instead, they have a boiler that uses oil to heat the water.  This boiler must be switched on when hot water is required, and then given at least 20 minutes to heat up the water.  However, as I said before, showers are taken at night here, so the boiler is not normally switched on in the morning.  Which means that if I want to take a shower in the morning to wake up, feel refreshed, and be clean to embrace the day; I have to take it cold.  This has led to a series of three-minute showers where every possible “extravagance,” such as using conditioner or washing unnecessary body parts, is excluded.  On the flip side, I actually wake up faster and strangely invigorated, right before I plunge into my waiting clothes.  I told my wife that it’s like a game of Freeze the American.

Today, we headed back to Monasteraki, so my wife could buy some remaining gifts for her co-workers and friends.  I have a completely different approach.  I spend money buying gifts for me, because it’s my vacation.  If someone I work with wants a gift from Greece, then they need to spend their own $2000 and go to Greece and get it themselves.  I don’t want to waste my few, precious moments hunting around for some crap that costs too much and they won’t like anyway.  I want to spend it enjoying my vacation, and if I find something I like along the way, then I’ll get it. 

And enjoy is exactly what I did today.  We happened upon the Olympieion today.  This is better known as the Columns of the Olympian Zeus.  It’s the remainder of a colossal ruined temple in the heart of Athens that was dedicated to Zeus.  And when I say colossal, I mean that the remaining columns tower over 55 feet in the air!  If you want to feel small and insignificant or marvel at the accomplishments of early man, then this is the place to do it. 

There is a beautiful stone archway that sits on one side of the ground and points back toward Athens proper.  This is known as Hadrian’s Gate, name after the Roman Emperor who dedicated the temple when it was finally completed during his reign.  Also in that same direction, you can see the Acropolis towering on its mountaintop high above the city; and in the other direction a skyline of Mount Hymettus.

Tonight, we went out with some of Georgios’ friends to a neighborhood bar called the View.  It’s a quaint, comfortable little bar that features cozy décor, friendly staff, and a laid-back atmosphere to enjoy conversation with your friends.  I had a nice time getting to know Georgios’ friends:  Pericles, Voula, Georgios, and Evi.  They are very nice people and seem like very good friends for my brother.

On a side note, I am about to lose my patience with my wife.  Driven by the stress-imposed environment that one always feels when finding themselves suddenly under the thumb of their parents once again, as well as the manic monster that she turns into when trying to drive in the craziness that is Athens, she’s getting on my last nerve.  She has started to snap at me when I ask a simple question, because she’s like a tightly wound rubber band all the time.  The worst part is that she doesn’t even recognize that she’s doing it. 

There also seems to be a habit in this family of immediate gratification.  You must drop everything and attend to whatever it is that they want at the very second that they want.  There is no concept that you might already be doing something.  For instance, I was lying down yesterday, and Georgios came home with some football jerseys that he had bought me.  My wife bursts in and starts telling me to get up, so I can try them on.  A moment later, her brother comes in carrying the bag.  Here I am, standing there in my underwear, trying on jerseys, because they didn’t even give me a chance to put pants on.  (Which would be my normal state of happiness in most cases, but I do have SOME modesty when it places me in an awkward situation.)

Northern Immersion - The Russian and the Elephant

Today, we got up early, so we could get an early start on a full day of activities.  It turns out that it was a waste of time, because apparently the Sacharidous take longer to get ready in the morning than the Knottses.  We didn’t leave the house until around 11:00 a.m.  So, with a half a day wasted, we headed to the parking for the subway.

Apparently, today the subway workers decided to strike, so the subway was only working on select lines at select times.  They were nice enough to leave a note, though, so we knew to find alternative transportation.  It took us another 20 minutes to find a place to park, and we ended up walking several miles to the nearest taxi stand.  It turns out we didn’t need a taxi after all, because there was an open subway line next to the taxi stand.  So, we headed off to Syntagma Square. 

The subway let out right next to the Parliament House square, which was packed with hundreds of people waving protest flags.  Ignoring them, we pushed our way across the street to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier where they were changing the guard (the Evzones) at that exact moment.  So, we got to watch the complicated ceremony, which features the guard dressed in traditional uniform, complete with skirt, stockings, and shoes with pom-poms.  It’s pretty cool if you’ve never seen it.  This would be our first unexpected gem of the trip.

As we made our way down to the Benaki Museum (Μουσείο Μπενάκη), we realized just how dangerous the protests could be.  There were police and military everywhere, armed with machine guns and riot gear.  Hurrying along to avoid getting caught up in anything, we arrived at the museum to find that admission today was free.  You can’t beat that!  The museum houses an impressive collection of sculptures, paintings, jewelry, pottery, artifacts, and traditional outfits from thousands of years of Greek history.  The beauty and detail of some of the pieces is remarkable considering the tools they had to work with at the time.

From there, we headed out to lunch and coffee with Anna Papaeti, one of my wife's childhood friends, at the Rock and Roll Café.  The food was just okay.  The company was great…and I’m not just saying that because Anna spoke English the whole time, so I wouldn’t feel left out.  She was very nice and sweet.  The biggest drawback to the experience was something that I had completely forgotten about Greece.  The number of cigarette smokers in this country and Athens in particular is ridiculous.  You can’t get away from it.  It’s everywhere.  And they let them smoke in the restaurants, so you can’t even enjoy your meal without it being encompassed in a haze of smoke.

We found ourselves in a corner booth, and all three of the tables around us had smokers at them.  At one point during the meal, I counted seven cigarettes and one cigar being burnt and puffed in my general direction.  At that one moment in time, I inhaled enough second-hand smoke to kill a large elephant.  And there was no reprieve.  As soon as they finished one, they’d light up another.  The guy next to us didn’t even stop smoking while he ate.  He had a cigarette in one hand and a fork in the other!  Needless to say, my eyes were burning, and I had a headache by the time we left there.

After saying our goodbyes to Anna, we headed to Monasteraki to try to do a little shopping before everything closed.  We didn’t get in much, but we managed to buy a few souvenirs for friends before heading home.  While in Monasteraki, I was confused as a Russian mobster.  Some Russian guy sitting on a stool started chasing me down the street and speaking Russian.  When I ignored him, he said in broken English, “I’m sorry, but do you speak Russian?”  I politely replied that “no I do not,” and he left.  I figured he was about to take me upstairs, share a bottle of vodka with me, and plot out a plan to take down the Turks.  My wife said that I looked Russian, so that’s probably why he made the mistake.  I’ve never been confused as Russian before.  Interesting…

Northern Immersion - When Hakkinen Meets Andretti

This morning crawled along.  We didn’t even get started on our day until 3 p.m.  My wife decided that she was ready to get out of the house before she committed matricide, so we headed off to Marathon Lake & Dam.  It’s a beautiful dam built out of marble with a thin, one-lane road across the top.  Cars have to take turns from either direction, so they can fit across the dam.  Unfortunately, the walkway was closed, so we couldn’t hike down to the temple at the bottom.

The village of Marathon is spider-webbed with narrow streets at sharp angles to each other.  My wife navigated them like our lives depended on getting around them at 90 kph.  I thought her mother (a.k.a. Hakkinen) was fearless until I met the daughter (a.k.a. Andretti).  Dogs, people, and cars were running, jumping, and swerving to get out of her way.  I didn’t think that a Suzuki Baleno would go very fast, but she drove it like it was turbo-charged.  Luckily, I made it home alive and with only minimal embarrassment at having to change my underwear.

After Marathon, we went to the outlet mall and walked around.  There wasn’t much to tempt us in the stores, but they had the mall decorated with Christmas lights, colored fountains, and cool light effects.  It was a cute, relaxing way to end out day.

The rest of the evening was spent ironing clothes and sewing curtains.

Northern Immersion - Demolition Derby, a.k.a. The Neighborhood Market

Today, they celebrated the two oldest people on the planet.  At 116 years old, the two women have seen and done a lot.  The reporters asked the women what their secret was for such a long life.  The first replied, “At the age of 38, being constantly abused by my husband, I decided to divorce him.  I have since eaten three eggs every morning.”  The second replied, “At the age of 28, I decided to leave my husband and take care of myself.  I have been eating eggs for breakfast every morning since that day.”  Scientists have concluded that the secret to long life is less marriage and more eggs!

We were headed to the neighborhood market today to buy curtains for our house.  Apparently, you can find beautiful curtains for a fraction of the cost.  Our trip to the market can be summed up as hundreds of rude, impatient people shoving and pushing their way past you because apparently slowing down in the aisle because there is no space to move means that you have to be shoved out of the way to make room for someone else that can stand in your place better.  (I swear I felt like I was back in Houston traffic again.)  What pissed me off the most is when I’d get shoved out of the way and then the person would be walking slower than me.  Or more often would stop in front of me to look at some stupid crap on a table in the very next stall.  Because getting there one nanosecond earlier meant that you got a better bargain or something.  So then, I’d be forced to shove past them so that I could keep walking.  I even had one woman do this routine to me three times.  She would shove past me, I’d shove past her, and she’d shove past me again.

This happened constantly until I was so battered, bruised, and tired that I just wanted to get out of there and go home.  I truly believe that people hunting a bargain cease to be human and turn into monsters.  It was like experiencing Black Friday in a Wal-Mart.  Oh, by the way, we found some really nice curtains.  Well, my wife and mamas did.  I just carried the stuff and guarded their rear flank.

Before going home, we stopped off at Anna’s place to see her, her new baby Konstantinos, and to visit with Alexandros.  Her mother, Eleni, was there as well.  It was nice to see them all, and they were as generous as ever.  Alexandros is nine now, and he’s gotten so big since the last time I saw him.  He really wanted to chat with me, but we are both stymied by language.  I must try again to learn Greek.  There are so many people I’d like to talk to, but can’t.  I can’t expect everyone to speak English all the time.  Alexandros invited us to watch him play soccer.  Hopefully, we’ll get to see him play before we go.

At one point, my wife, Anna, Eleni, and mamas were all talking simultaneously.  I started cracking up laughing at the absurdity of it, because I can’t figure out how any of them could follow what anyone else was saying.  Oh well.  We stopped off at a local gyro shop and got gyros, which were wonderful.

We came home, and I took a nap (because the market had done me in) while my wife and mamas started to hem the curtains.

Northern Immersion - Replenishing Supplies

We had to do some much-needed laundry today, so we didn’t get out and do anything.

Northern Immersion - AEK Forever!

Last night was terrible.  We are in the little apartment on the ground floor, so we can have some privacy.  However, we are also right next to where the dogs sleep…or don’t sleep I should say.  Apparently, those monsters sleep all day long, so they can wake up when it gets dark and torture unsuspecting family from the United States.  They were up every two hours barking, dragging rocks around the patio, and playing tug-of-war with a stick.  At one point, I heard another dog barking in the distance and then Rea was answering with her own bark.  I got up for the umpteenth time, opened the door, and told her to cut it out with the long-distance phone calls.  Needless to say, we slept in because we were exhausted.

Today, Georgios took me to my first footie match.  We went to see AEK in action at the Olympic Stadium from the Olympic Games in 2004.  We decided to sit with the hooligans, so I could experience the full energy of the game.  It was really exciting.  They had a yell leader that was directing the chats and songs throughout the game.  We were the only section singing and shouting.  Every time AEK scored, they would throw stuff in the air and light road flares.  On top of that, AEK won 2-0.

Georgios told me that I was part of the brotherhood now, and there was no going back.  He said the saying goes, “You can change your job, you can change your house, you can change your spouse…but you can never change your team.”  He solidify the occasion, he bought me an AEK scarf as a souvenir.

The rest of the evening was just eating and watching TV with babas mou.

Northern Immersion - Cheerio!

Well, today was leaving day.  The taxi came for me at 6 a.m. for the long trek to Belfast.  Since the restaurants weren’t going to open until around 7:30 a.m., I was panicking what to do for breakfast.  I called the front desk and asked if they knew any places that were open this early.  Conner, the guy manning the front desk, said that there weren’t, but he would go and see what he could find in the kitchen for me.  He showed up at my door ten minutes later holding a tray with toast, cereal, orange juice, and hot tea.  He apologized that he couldn’t find me something more.  I was thanking him profusely for this heavenly morsel!

The flight from Belfast to London was uneventful; nothing exciting to report.  The flight from London to Athens was a completely different story.  I sat next to a Greek woman named Evagelia.  She was from Athens and was traveling home after a work stint in Glasgow.  We ended up talking the entire flight about my experiences in Greece, her work as a psychologist, the things I liked most about my job, her family, my family, and why people act the way they do.  We were so pleasantly entertained that we didn’t even notice that over three hours had passed and we were about to land.

I am not normally like that with people, but she was very easy to talk to.  My wife says that’s because she’s a psychologist.  There could be something to that, but it also might just be another step in my adventure education…trying new things!

After my wife and Georgios picked me up from the airport, I spent a relaxing evening eating and talking to my in-laws.

Northern Immersion - I’d like to do it all again…this time in reverse.

My morning started off with a potentially awkward situation.  I was going to the bathroom after breakfast, sitting with the door open so I could hang my head out and still watch the news.  I had just gotten to the moment of standing up, pants still around my ankles, when the door handle started to jiggle.  I had just enough time to drag my pants up before the door burst open, and I was face to face with the cleaning lady.  One minute sooner and that could have been awkward for all parties involved.  I was telling this story at dinner later that night (read below) and Michael says, “Well, that’s what you get for not dead-bolting your door.  That’s why they put those things on the door.”  No sympathy at all.

The class today didn’t go as smoothly as I had planned. I thought the assessment would be pretty straight-forward compared to what I had put the guys through the last two weeks.  I was dead wrong.  They struggled even more with this.  Most likely because they had the added pressure of thinking this was a graded test.  The whole office got out early except us.  I eventually had to kick the guys out because they weren’t done and we needed to lock up.  In the end, I only failed two guys because they were missing quite a few fields from their files.  Ironically, it was the two guys that finished first.

For lunch, I wanted to have one last hoorah with the guys, so we head out to Brown’s in Town.  This was to compliment the crap experience I had had earlier in the week at Brown’s on the Waterside.  I had the battered cod, which was a lot better than the regular cod I had had before.  The portion was larger too.  We had a big controversy at the table about whether we could order skinny fries or fat fries, and if we could order skinny fries would they come out as regular fries or sweet potato fries.  SS wanted sweet potato skinny fries, but the waiter told him that they were only serving regular that day.  Later in the lunch he was telling a story about this restaurant that had burned down.  SD asked him what year that was, but SS said that he couldn’t remember the year.  Then, he said, “It was on September 27^th at about half ten.”  When SD asked how he could remember that amount of detail, but not remember the year, SS said, “I remember because the bloke burned the restaurant down when he couldn’t get sweet potato skinny fries.”

For dinner, LF, DS, and I decided to head back to La Sosta again to see if we might run into John Hume and could convince him to take a picture with us.  We were not so lucky, but we did run into JM and MH from the office, so we decided to join them.  I will admit that I had been so impressed with the dinner from the night before, that I chose to do it all again.  It was just as good the second time.  When it came time to order dessert, I ordered the pudding again.  LF and DS decided that they wanted to try it this time as well.  JM chose to get the tiramisu.  When the pudding came out this time, it looked like a piece of chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  Thinking it was the tiramisu, because it looked exactly like what DS had gotten the night before, I sent it down to JM.  The waitress was completely confused, because she had two more plates of the chocolate cake “things” coming out to the table.  MH, being the only from Northern Ireland and therefore the only one who could make an intelligent observation of the situation, informed us that pudding in the UK doesn’t look like pudding in the US.

Apparently, the night before, they had switched DS and my desserts.  I had ended up with the tiramisu and DS had had the pudding.  We had both enjoyed our desserts so much, that neither of us even questioned it.  Besides, we were in a foreign country, so who were we to criticize that the food looked different than we expected?  JM didn’t want the “soup” looking thing they brought him, so we switched and I had my “pudding” after all.  I probably should have done the whole meal in reverse and started with the dessert, just to be different.

After dinner, JM and I walked back to the hotel and had a long chat with Chiree, one of the lovely ladies that worked at the front desk.  She had been on rotation with Laura and Marguerite at the front desk, so we had come to be a first name basis with them all.  They were the most helpful and friendly staff I have ever encountered at a hotel.  I would suggest people stay at the Maldron for this fact alone.

I ended my night by repacking all my clothes and evaluating all the students in my class.  I didn’t get to bed until 12:30 a.m.

Northern Immersion - Where Everyone Knows Your Name

I had a great day at work today, despite the fact that I had a headache.  Yesterday, on a whim, I had rewritten the last supplemental activity in my manual.  It actually turned out to be a really good activity that challenged even the cockiest guy in the class.  I was pretty proud of how cool it turned out despite the fact that I had written it in about 30 minutes.  It was divine, that’s all I can say.  I have learned a lot from this training period.  I need to put a lot more work into cleaning up the curriculum…if Randy lets me.

For lunch, LFand I walked down the street and went to the Sandwich Co.  Yes…again.  I got the same thing, BLT and soup.  It was still good, even for the third time.

Tonight, LF, DS, and I went to La Sosta for dinner.  It was a fancy Italian restaurant that was down an alley and through an unmarked door.  We figured that Americans alone for Thanksgiving should stick together.  Dinner was excellent.  I had a Farfalle e pollo con asparagi (farfalle with chicken and asparagus).  I also got a side order of garlic bread in olive oil.  And I finished it off with chocolate pudding with cacao powder.

But as good as the food was, that was not the highlight of the dining experience.  On our way out, we met a local (and seemingly more widespread) celebrity.  John Hume, who along with David Trimble, won the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1998 “for their efforts to find a peaceful solution to the conflict in Northern Ireland.”  He chatted us up, asking about our visit to Derry, where we were staying, about our business, etc.  We didn’t realize the magnitude of the moment until we were walking through Bogside and saw his picture painted on the side of a building alongside Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther King, Jr.  I told Marguerite, the lady at the front desk about him, and she told me that he eats at that restaurant every night.  Everyone around here knows John, and now we do too.

After dinner, LF, DS, and I walked around, so LF could take pictures.  We walked all over town and even down to Free Derry, so she could see the murals.  At one of the pubs in town, The Anchor Bar, we found a guy outside smoking a cigarette.  When LF pointed her camera in his direction, he started posing and waving his hands around and smiling.  I knew right off that he was probably gay based on his behavior.  He confirmed this fact himself when he started talking to us.  He suddenly looked down, realized he was still smoking a cigarette, and said, “Oh my god, I hope she didn’t get the fag in the picture!”  Laughing to myself, I thought, “I’m pretty sure that was exactly what she was trying to take a picture of.”  LF and DS were completely oblivious to the double meaning that “fag” in the UK actually refers to a cigarette.

Northern Immersion - Do It All Again

Today, we continue with the XSLT code of Core Connectors.  The guys seemed to enjoy this, as we got back into things they liked and understood.  I’m glad this week is going more smoothly than last week.  I still had to deal with a couple of the guys racing through the assignments like there is some prize for finishing first.  I had to tell them to slow down and get it right, because it’s not about how fast you finish, but about the quality you produce.  Not good at all.

LF, the new payroll trainer, came in yesterday, so I went and picked her up to walk her to the office.  I have taken it upon myself to spend the next few days downloading to her everything I have learned about Derry.  She couldn’t go to lunch, so I went out with JM and GR to Danano’s again.  I tried the Margherita pizza again, because this time it said it had basil.  I was completely disappointed again.  It was merely a cheese pizza.  These people have no idea how to make a proper Margherita pizza.  I’m giving up.  Gavin was really nice.  I hadn’t talked to him before today.  He and I have a very similar sense of humor.

I took LF out for dinner at the Exchange, because it was close to her hotel, and she wasn’t feeling well.  Apparently, the day after she arrived, she developed laryngitis and lost her voice.  So, we had a quiet, whispered dinner!  I had the chicken stacker, which was two chicken breasts, tomato, and mozzarella cheese stacked on top of each other, sitting in a cream of mushroom sauce.  Not actually as tasty as it sounds.

Came back to the hotel and worked to give my feet a rest.  I watched Manchester United bomb a supposed giveaway game in the Champions League group stage.  Not a bad, relaxing night.

Northern Immersion - A Beam of Sun through the Rain Clouds

Well, just when I thought all hope was gone with my class, they surprised me today.  They actually seemed to be following along and understanding what I was teaching.  Granted we actually switched topics and started talking about a new type of integration.  But there were none of the confused looks, incessant cussing, or “here, just take my laptop now.”  Even some of the people that I had concerns about turned it around today.

One of the things that really pisses me off about the class is that the guys assume they are getting out at 3:30 p.m. every day.  Today, one of the guys actually told me that I couldn’t present another topic, because it was already 3:27 p.m. and they only had three minutes before they were “away to go.”  I said, “You’re away to go, when I say you’re away to go”; which garnered both derision for my making fun of the Irish slang and groans that I was being so mean.  I didn’t care.  I’d had enough of them bullying me around.  So, I made them stay another hour.  I wish I had done this last week already and set the precedence.

For lunch today, JM and I went over to the Green Octopus in Austin’s department store.  Ironically, we had both just heard about the restaurant yesterday from DS, and today all of the guys said they were going there for lunch as well.  I had the Green Octopus Two-Handed Club Sandwich.  It was tasty; nothing exciting.

For dinner, we continue the fancy theme and went to Brown’s on the Waterside, because JM has a goal to go to every fancy restaurant in town this week.  This was even fancier than the Sooty Olive.  I’ll also say more expensive and less thrilling.  This was the kind of restaurant where they bring out a dinky piece of fish with sauce patterns adorning the gigantic plate.  The food looked ridiculous on the plate, because it was so inconsequential in comparison.  It was also just ordinary.  I wouldn’t even say good.  Just okay.  And there wasn’t anywhere near enough of it to fill you up.  I had the cod with fries, finishing with a chocolate mousse tart with honey ice cream.  The dessert was just as ridiculous.  It was way too sweet and rich, but it was about three spoonfuls.

I know I’m not of the richer tastes, but this was wasted decadence if you ask me.  I wouldn’t bother going back and paying for that again.

Northern Immersion - Sweaty Olives

I am a little concerned about some of the guys in my class.  They are struggling with the oddest things, and I have no idea how to deal with it.  Some of them are fine with the programming itself, but are struggling with the stupid documentation.  Some of them are over-complicating things and then struggling to dig themselves back out again.  I’m not sure how they’ll actually do in the class.  I’m also starting to feel like some of it is my fault, because of the language/culture difference.  I’ll keep trying, but it’s very frustrating.

JM and I went back to Quays Bar for lunch today.  He had heard about the Jamaican Penne Pasta and wanted to try it for himself.  He was completely disappointed, saying it was too bland.  I never said it was hot, so he must have told himself that.  But of course, he blamed me.  I got the Creamy Penne Pasta and Garlic-Butter Potatoes.  It was totally delicious.  I enjoyed it a lot more than the Jamaican Penne Pasta.  JM and I agree to disagree on food.

For dinner, JM, DS, and I went over to the Sooty Olive in Waterside Derry (that’s the other side of the river).  It’s a little fancier kind of restaurant, where you get reservations, eat by candlelight, and people dress up.  I had the sirloin steak and potatoes.  It was a very good steak.  I also got the brownie explosion and vanilla ice cream for dessert…perfect way to wrap that meal up.  I was very impressed with the quality of the food…would go back.

In case you’re wondering about the title, I could never understand people when they were saying the name of the restaurant.  So, I thought they were saying the Sweaty Olive.  I’m still not sure what the name is supposed to mean.

Northern Immersion - All Laid Out Before Me

Today, I woke up later than usual, had the continental breakfast downstairs, and submitted my first expense report for this trip.  Then, I decided to venture over to the west side of the Foyle River and explore the other side of town.  CD had mentioned that the view from Top of the Hill was amazing, so I decided to hike it.

Again, I underestimated how far that was, especially hiking uphill all the way there.  But I finally made it, and CD was right…it was truly amazing.  I could look back across the water and see the entire town on the other side of the river, as well as the monastery, cemetery, football stadium, and all the other places I had hiked the day before.  It is pretty awesome to see the expansiveness of the town and how it sprawls out across the countryside.

Other than this view, there is not much else on that side of the river except residential areas.  I explored a few of these to get a feel for the types of houses in this part of the world and then headed back to try to grab lunch.  I had lunch at the Sandwich Co. again, repeating the experience from the day before.  It was just as good this time.  I got it as a takeaway (that’s the word for “to go” here) and ate it in my room, so I could take off my shoes and let my body relax.  I mapped out the trip I had taken today, and found out that it was approximately 3 miles round trip.  No wonder my feet were killing me.

JM came to my room around 4 p.m. and invited me to the Foyle Film Fesitval, which features independent short films from all over the world.  We bought a package deal which was for five movies, totaling about 1.5 hours of viewing.  The subject matter on these films was a little odd and disturbing. 

The first one was titled Out of the Village and was a film about a boy and his sister who have to deal with the aftermath of their parents’ death to Ebola.  This was an emotionally moving film, but left me wondering “what’s next?”

The second one was titled Intersection and was a film about two construction workers in the middle of nowhere whose monotony is disturbed by a meteorite falling from the sky.  One of them kills the other to get sole possession of the meteorite and then proceeds to try to drag it across the desert naked, using his clothes as leverage.  I actually quite liked this.  It was very funny in a dark kind of way.

The third one was titled Fragile and was a film about a woman who tries dating too soon after her divorce.  The dating experience is disastrous and leads to a series of destructive encounters across the city, as she tries to come to terms with her loneliness.  The girl in this was cute, but she was a complete psycho.  I didn’t understand what she was doing half the time.

The fourth one was titled Waiting for Tom and was a film about a mother and daughter driving across Ireland for some reason completely lost on me.  They bicker the whole time about things we know nothing about and then have a good laugh right before the credits roll.  I guess you can figure out what I thought about this one.

The last one was title De Smet and was a film about three brothers who live the single life, doing everything together in a simple way.  That is until a new woman moves in across the street and starts a romance with one of the brothers.  The other two brothers don’t like the interruption, so they sabotage the breaks on the woman’s car, and she dies in a car accident.  Order is restored between the brothers, but it leaves the one brother depressed.  JM didn’t even stay to watch this one.  I thought this one had quite a few humorous parts as well.  The girl next to me was laughing pretty hard, so I guess she also liked it.

It was cool to do something unexpected like this, especially since the film festival is only done twice a year.

We finished off with dinner in the Stir Restaurant, where we had a Moroccan Lamb Burger with tzatziki and a toffee, chocolate, and caramel tartlet with tasted suspiciously like cheesecake.  And we all know how I feel about cheesecake!

Later, JM and I are going to walk down to the Omniplex and watch Spectre, the new James Bond film.

Northern Immersion - Tour of Donegal

I woke this morning at the usual time and headed down to breakfast only to discover that they were serving off the continental bar today.  The breakfast was less than stellar off the bar.  I missed my usual eggs Benedict and bacon.  After breakfast, I decided to hit the shops.  My intention was to buy my wife a souvenir from Derry.  So far, I haven’t been able to find anything touristy here.

Disappointed, I decided to trek up to the monastery that that CD had showed me earlier.  I guess I didn’t realize how long that walk was when I was riding in the car.  It took me an hour to trek down the river, up the hill, and finally find the monastery (after passing the turn-off a couple of times).  Along the way, I found a really neat park along the river with walking trails, trees, and lush green grass.  Also, after one of my wrong turns, I ended up in Brandwell, which had some really neat houses and murals.

I followed the whole trip that CD had taken me and walked back through Creggan, guiding myself by the few landmarks that seemed familiar.  It was a long walk, especially trudging up that hill, and I was exhausted when I finally made it back to the hotel.  At the hotel, I mapped out my walk, and I found out it was about 2.5 miles in total.

But I didn’t stay there long, deciding to high-tail it down the street to The Sandwich Co. for a soup and sandwich.  The lunch was amazing.  I had a BLT and the soup of the day, which was a vegetable soup.  The BLT was not traditional, in that they had mixed all of the ingredients together in a sort of sandwich spread.  The whole thing was very tasty.  Would go again…five stars.

After lunch, SD had agreed to take JM, KM, and I on a driving tour through Donegal (pronounced Donnie Gall).  We headed northwest to Buncrana and then followed the coast road up to Ballyliffin before turn around and heading southeast to Carndonagh, Quigley’s Point, Muff, and finally back to Derry.  Besides the amazing scenery and coastal views, we also stopped at Fort Dunree to take some pictures and enjoy the freezing cold wind before journeying on.

Here’s a funny story about Muff, Northern Ireland.  Muff sits right on the border between Ireland and Northern Ireland.  One of the guys in the class, BM, actually lives in Muff.  He said that what Muff is actually famous for is their scuba diving club.  They’re called the Muff Divers.

Well, I was supposed to meet JM and KM to go out to the Sooty Olive tonight, so after a quick nap, I texted him.  Apparently, he forgot we were going to go and went somewhere else without me.  So, pissed off that he didn’t text to let me know, I set off to try to find something.  I wasn’t feeling like eating out alone and needless to say most things in the town are closed, except pubs, so I ended up at Paolo’s Pizza again.  I tried the pepperoni pizza this time.  The pepperonis were tiny, like small sausages.  I ended up picking half of them off.  The pizza was okay, nothing great.  It could have been that I just wasn’t in the mood for pizza again.  I watched the Proposal while I ate, and now I’m going to bed.  I feel like I’m giving Twitter updates or something.

Northern Immersion - Most Common Word in Northern Ireland

So today, I gave the guess the first two Supplemental Activities in the class, which are basically independent activities where they have to apply all the techniques and knowledge that they have learned all week.  I have never heard so many creative uses of the f-bomb in all of my life as they worked through the assignment.  I asked JM after class if he noticed that they cussed more here in Northern Ireland, and he said, “Not really.  It must just be your class.”  I kid you not that this continued the entire eight hours of class.  The funniest comment had to be when SS said, “You are sick.  How do you sleep at night?!”  I calmly replied, “On one side, then the other.”

CD and I went over to Jack’s Bar for lunch.  I got an Open Steak and Bacon Sandwich with garlic potatoes.  It was just okay, nothing special.  The decor in the bar was neat, very traditional, but the food wasn’t that great.  CD agreed.  Perhaps we got the wrong thing.  I had heard the Battered Cod was good.  Oh well, you win some and lose some. 

After class, I wasn’t feeling very energetic, so I went to Paolo’s Pizza to get a pizza.  My English must be terribly hard to understand, because I asked for a 10” Margherita and ended up with two instead.  I’m not sure how she got from 10” to 2.  It was too late by the time they came out, so I just took them and headed back to the room.  I decided to treat myself to a pizza/movie night, eating all that pizza and watching The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies.  The pizza was good, the Italian herbs were outstanding, but it was actually only a cheese pizza, not really a Margherita.  The movie was okay, but the worst of the three by far.

Northern Immersion - Let There Be Light!

I have a guy in my class named Rhys, who has made it his personal mission to jack with the computer of everyone who leaves it unlocked when they leave the room.  Usually, this just consists of him flipping their screen over, so they are viewing it upside down.  Once he sent an email to everyone from the computer “confessing” that the computer had been left unlocked.

As he was leaving for the day today, he forgot his phone on the table.  A couple of his victims seized the opportunity to jack with his unlocked phone before he came back to get it.  They decided to change the language on the phone to Danish.  When he had come back, he saw that the language had changed and said, “You are all bastards…the whole lot of you…bastards.  But that was really good craic.  Cheers.”  I’m really going to miss this bunch of guys when I have to go back.  I have grown quite fond of their personalities and the witty way they feed off each other.

CD and I went over to the Exchange for lunch today.  Randy had been raving about it several times before I left, so I wanted to try it out.  I tried a ham and bacon Panini with potatoes.  It was actually very good.  CD said I should come back for dinner some time and try the Spanish potatoes…maybe next week.  CD offered to take me on a driving tour around Derry city proper after lunch.  So, we headed north up the river around to the Monastery of the Carmelite Fathers and back through Creggan.

Tonight, Santa Claus showed up at the Guild Hall to turn on the Christmas lights.  I got there half an hour early after a less than satisfying dinner at Subway, and there were already hundreds of people standing in the plaza.  By the time Santa showed up, hundreds of more people showed up and hemmed me in.  I couldn’t actually see Santa flip the switch on the Christmas tree, but the best part was watching how excited the children were about the whole experience.  To see their little faces lit up in worly light-up toys.  To hear their excited squeals of joy at getting candy treats from Santa.  To witness their happiness as they sat atop their parents shoulders, high above the world with the best view in the house.  To use a local expression, it was good craic (pronounced crack).

I let the crowds die down a bit, and then I walked around town looking at the lights and taking pictures.  Every street is lit up.  Bell, Christmas tree, snowflake lights strewn up everywhere.  After that, I went over to the Free Derry wall and walked around the neighborhood to view the murals painted on the buildings.  This was the sight of Bloody Sunday, where British troops killed thirteen people; pretty sobering.

I realized that I didn’t really describe the hotel I’m staying in.  The Maldron Hotel apparently has been owned by several hotel chains over the years.  Everyone around here knows it as The Tower.  I’m on the fourth floor, which is the top, and I have a room on the back of the hotel.  My view looks out a narrow gap between two arms of the hotel down toward the Guild Hall and the river.  There is a heater in the room, but no A/C as far as I can tell.  I have one small window that opens, but it only opens about three inches, so it doesn’t let in much cool, just enough to get some fresh air into the room.  The bathroom is pretty small, but serviceable. 

My only real issue is the stupid toilet lid.  It is constructed in such a way that the lid hits the flushing handle of the toilet, so it won’t stay open.  I found this out the first time I was trying to pee and it started to come back down again.  Panic ensued as I tried to prop it up with my knee while maintaining my aim.  Now, I have to pee from the side of the toilet, so I can prop up the lid while I’m using it.  It’s really annoying.

Northern Immersion - Sweet Revenge!

Today, we got into my favorite topic, XSLT.  I was stoked that this was going to be the day that finally turned it around for the guys excitement-wise…I was wrong.  I guess the endless weeks of training are starting to take their toll, and I’m taking the brunt of the boredom.  They have no idea that my class can be a blast, much more fun than the Workday version in a couple of weeks.

While I was walking through the various functions in XSLT and XPath, most of the guys were checking their phones, looking at Facebook, or whispering to each other.  I only had about four or five guys that were actually paying attention.  I pressed on, though.  I’m here for their benefit, so if they choose not to use me, then it’s their loss.  However, I have to say that I had a bit of satisfying revenge when I got to the part of giving them the homework for the night.  First of all, the majority of the guys were talking, so they didn’t even hear that they had homework or the explanation I gave about how to read the spec.  It was a complete eye-opener for pretty much everyone in the room when they realized that they had to take all the pieces that I had given them and put them together in complex, creative ways.  The examples I had gone over may have seemed easy, but they were the building blocks to something far more complicated.

A couple of guys finished early and left.  About half stayed behind, and I was able to give them one-on-one tutoring.  This is by far my favorite part of the class.  I like assessing where people are at and helping them grasp that one little thing that is eluding them.  I enjoy seeing their faces relax with recognition when they finally understand.  I am not daunted by this.  This was their first foray into XSLT, so it’s going to take some practice.  That’s why we have additional activities for them to go over.  It’s a process.

For lunch today, SD, PS, and DS took me to Quay’s Bar.  I decided to continue my adventure outside my comfort zone and try the Jamaican Jerk Penne Pasta.  It wasn’t as spicy as I was expecting it to be.  It had braised beef tips in a stew of tomatoes, bell peppers, and onions; marinated in a vegetable/cilantro broth.  It was actually pretty good, despite the fact that I picked all of the onions out and set them on the side.

For dinner, I accompanied JM and KM to Bentley’s Steakhouse.  I continue my spice-filled day by trying the Marinated Chili Steak Pita Pocket.  I wasn’t expecting it to be very big, so I also got a cup of the soup of the day, which was some sort of vegetable medley.  This was really the first not-so-great meal of the trip.  The soup was okay; nothing exciting.  The pita pocket was much larger than anticipated and the meat was marinated in a very hot cayenne pepper/barbeque sauce.  My mouth is still on fire from eating it.  I only ate the meat, leaving the not-very-tasty vegetables and the bread pocket itself.  Wouldn’t order it again, and probably wouldn’t even bother going back to this restaurant.

Feeling like the human torch, I decided to take a quick walk in the brisk, cold air and enjoy the fact that it wasn’t raining very hard.  I walked along a piece of the City Wall before heading back and weaving in and out of the buildings of the inner city.  Now, I think I’ll watch a movie until I get tired.

Northern Immersion - Boring in Northern Ireland Too

I woke up early to partake of eggs Benedict and Irish bacon on an English muffin in the Stir Restaurant in the bottom of my hotel.  It was eggscelent.  I sent a picture to my wife just to make her jealous.

JM met me and walked me to the office.  The weather this morning was cold, crisp, and sunny; which according to Billet is a great day in Northern Ireland.  I think his exact phrase was, “If it’s not raining, then it’s a great day.  If it’s sunny, then make sure you’re still in Ireland.”

I met the “guys” today…or at least nine of them.  They seem like a great bunch of guys.  I surprised and impressed them all by knowing each of their names.  CD actually asked me how I did that when we had lunch together.  Day 1 is always the slowest day, because we have to get in a rhythm, learn each other, and do an overview of integration.  In other words, I’m now boring in two countries.  As a matter of fact, the class didn’t perk up until I gave them a one and a half hour lunch.  It really perked up when I let them go around 3:30 p.m.  I guess that transcends countries.

CD, his brother SD, and PS invited me out for lunch at Quay West (pronounced Key West).  They got a pitcher of some sort of fruit beer, which went surprisingly well with the battered cod and chips.  Completely delicious.  I had a great time getting to know them.

This afternoon the sun disappeared and it started raining again.  Well, it was nice while it lasted.  I had let the guys go early, so I decided to attempt a stroll around the city.  I was not prepared for the sub-arctic temperatures, howling wind, or stinging rain; which, of course, waited until I was on the other side of the river…as far away as possible from the hotel…before deciding to attack me.  I did manage some beautiful pictures of the Peace Bridge before heading back.  This bridge was built across the river to create a unity between the Protestants and Catholics that had been warring in Northern Ireland for years.  This is mostly history as the two sides of intermingled through the years.  The bridge is a beautiful winding causeway with artistic construction and graceful lines.  It’s lit above by white lights and below by purple lights that reflect off the river in moving waves of colors.

Just off the river is a beautiful church that climbs into the sky with orange-brick filigree, ending in a Big Ben-like clock tower.  I can see the church from my room and hear the bells toll every hour.  The clock takes on a pink luminescence at night, I’m assuming so it’s not so bright.  It was very pretty against the dark-blue, black stormy sky.

Now, off to meet the guys for a pint and a football match.  Go Ireland!

----

Back from the match.  Grabbed a quick dinner in the Stir Restaurant downstairs, so I wouldn’t miss too much of the match.  I tried a Caesar salad and Sweet Potato, Turnip, and Honey soup.  Didn’t care for the salad, but I’ve never been big on Caesar.  The soup was interesting.  I sat next to two other Americans who had to be some of the most boring people I ever eavesdropped on.  They were talking nonsense about Thanksgiving dinners in their past, and what they could cook to get people to change their plans and show up at their house.  But even the way they talked about it was boring.  “What did I cook on the grill?”  “You cooked the corn.” “I must have cooked something else.” “You also cooked some chicken.”  I was rolling my eyes at how stupid they were making Americans sound.

I high-tailed it out of there as fast as I could and got to the pub ten minutes into the match.  CD met me there with his brother and their friends.  He bought me a Guinness, because you can’t go to Ireland and not try a Guinness.  I had foreseen this inevitability, which is why I hydrated and ate some dinner before going.  I must be developing a tolerance, because it didn’t seem to affect me at all.  I did determine that no matter where I drink, I still hate alcohol.

The match was good.  Ireland pulled it out 2-0 and qualified for Euro 2016.  The place was deafening.  Awesome experience!

Northern Immersion - Heading International Alone

Today, I embarked on my first solo international trip.  I flew to Northern Ireland for a 2-week training class.  I have been developing and practicing the Integration Immersion class for months now.  All of it has led to this moment when it finally gets rolled out to our new office in Derry, Northern Ireland.  Although, based on how the trip started out, I wasn’t sure I was going to have an adventure at all.

Apparently, the administrative assistant that was supposed to be booking my trip screwed it up.  She booked me to fly into Heathrow, London on Saturday and Belfast, Northern Ireland on Saturday, which is impossible since the trip to London takes overnight, so the airline cancelled my trip.  Luckily, she had double-booked me with both British Airways and American Airlines.  But it meant I had to run to a completely different terminal for my flight.  Anyway, I made it just in time for the boarding thanks to some nice people that let me cut in front of them in the security line.

The flights went off without too much of an issue.  I had a taxi to meet me in Belfast and drive me the 73 miles to Derry.  The driver, Billet, was very talkative and informative throughout the entire drive.  He gave me facts about history, economics, politics, industry, and his own life.  It was great. 

It was cloudy and drizzling the entire drive; which apparently has been the norm here lately.  I grabbed an amazing lunch at the Lyric Bar & Grill.  I had the steak and Guiness pie, which was a layer of mashed potatoes and peas, topped with filo bread and Guiness-cooked steak, and served with a side of carrots and potatoes.  Stuffed and happy, I decided to take a stroll around town to walk it off.  I tried to track down the location of the office, which was hidden better than Jimmy Hoffa’s grave.  I finally gave up when it started to rain and headed back to take a nap.

JM and his wife, KM, arrived around dinner, so we grabbed a good parmesan cheese and bacon burger at Custom House.  They were knackered (Vee word) from their flight, so headed back to the hotel to call it a night.  I finally drifted off around midnight local time.

Northern Immersion - Rain…Rain…and More Rain

Well, I saw on the news this morning that apparently a tropical storm is blowing over the UK right now.  And apparently there is another tropical storm right behind it.  So, today was pretty wet and gloomy again.  The lady at the front desk made a comment about the rain, and I said, “It’s pretty much what I expected Northern Ireland to be.”  I assumed the green came from somewhere, and apparently that somewhere is all the rain this area gets.  I’m a little surprised that the grass around here has adapted to survive on the three or four days of sun this area gets all year.  Okay, maybe it’s a little more than that.

Class was not much fun today.  The guys were complaining about all being tired from being out late at the game.  And of course today I had to talk to them about calculated fields.  Not exactly the most exciting topic.  The afternoon didn’t get much better when we got into security.  The bored grumblings turned into outright cussing when none of the security activities worked as expected.  I’m seriously tired of the GMS tenant refreshes.  It’s making my life a nightmare.  I think the guys walked away more confused than they started, which is never a good thing with security.

Lunch was good.  Went out with SD and his brother CD to Danano’s, an Italian restaurant, and had an amazing calzone.  It had pepperoni, chicken, beef meatballs, bell peppers, and jalapenos.  It also took up half the plate.  SD and CD are big guys and can put away some food.  I was not going to be outdone, though.  I was the last to finish, but I ate that whole thing.  They seemed impressed.

Dinner was also good.  The management and training team invited me out to join them at Pier 59, a seafood restaurant down near the river.  I had the baked trout and stir-fried vegetables.  The fish was so moist and tender, and the juice perfectly complimented the squash, bell peppers, and carrots.  I finished it off with a triple scoop of chocolate ice cream, marshmallows, and berries in a cinnamon-honey bowl.  Since KM, JM's wife, and I were pretty much the odd “men” out, I kept her engaged and entertained at the end of the table, while the others talked about work.  KM is up here looking for houses to rent, when she and JM move over in March.

The rain had finally stopped after dinner, so I came back to the hotel and worked some more.  It’s a little after midnight now, so I’m going to sign off.  Good night all.

Sign Titles

On the BBC News this morning, they had someone doing sign language for the news program.  I wonder if you could hear, but also know sign language, then would watching this on the news be like having subtitles?

Crosswords in Pen

I think some of the bravest people in the world have to be people who do crossword puzzles in pen. That takes another level of cockiness and confidence.

Super Bald

I learned today that baldness is genetic.  And that even though baldness can occur from environmental factors as well, it will not change the genetic make-up and carry on to your descendants.  

Unless...if you are maybe exposed to some sort of radiation, gamma ray, x-ray, etc. that happens to alter that particular gene in your body.  Of course, you might also become a superhero.  But wouldn't that suck if you were bitten by a radioactive spider or exposed to gamma rays, and the only super power that you developed was male-pattern baldness?

Flood Gauge

I saw a flood gauge tonight that went from 1 to 8 feet. I'm thinking that if you're in a car seeing it say 8 feet, then it's already too late.

If I Only Had a Shirt

I found out today that a mouse has approximately 25,000 genes. Imagine that...25,000 pairs of genes and no shirts.

Me Without You

It's only been one night and already I miss you. I want to see your face and the way your eyes light up when you look at me. How is that possible? How is it possible when I come home with food and drink spilled all over me for you to still look at me like I'm the most beautiful thing in the world? I miss you. I miss your scent. I miss your arms and how I fit perfectly in them. I miss how soft your lips are when you kiss my cheek. I miss your laugh, and how you can always make me smile even on the worst days. I miss your stories. How is it that you always have something new to tell me? I wish I was with you right now...wherever you are.

Murder She Attracteth

I think someone like Jessica Fletcher in the TV show 'Murder She Wrote' would be the worst friend ever. Everywhere she goes, someone dies. As a matter of fact, most of the people die in her own town of Cabot Cove. I mean this can't be that big of a town, so with as many seasons as that show ran, how many people could still be alive in that town?! Do they have some evil real estate agent out there replenishing the stock of meat fodder just so she can continue writing books?!

And this goes on no matter where she goes. Other towns, other countries. She's a death magnet!

Science and God

I hate when people "justify" the non-existence of God because they can explain things with science. Science is a means of understanding, it's not a means of creation. Every experiment is only a discovery of something that already existed. Nothing is new. Nobody is proving that God doesn't exist. They're only understanding that this is how God put it all together.

They think that just because they can take a cell, add some enzymes and catalysts, and make something new; that they have created something. But where did the cell come from? Where did the enzymes and catalysts come from? Man didn't create them. Go ahead and tell me that they were synthesized in a lab somewhere. The parts used to synthesize them were not created by man either. Man only took what already existed and recreated something that God put in motion millions of years ago.

If man wants to prove that God doesn't exist, then he'll have to start from scratch. Take nothing and create a nucleus or a chromosome or link DNA together in the exact correct way to form a specific human with specific traits in a specific way. God didn't start with someone else's raw materials, so why does man think he can get away with doing it and prove that there is no God?!

I Am Second

I see a lot of people wearing these I AM SECOND bracelets. It's the latest in Christian-based fads inspired by the Newsboys song of the same name. The point of the bracelets is to remind us that God should be first in in our lives, and we are second.

However, I am not really a fan of these bracelets. I feel like they're putting the focus back onto ourselves instead of on God where it belongs. Why does it always have to be about us? Why can't we wear bracelets that say GOD IS FIRST?

It really has nothing to do with us. It doesn't matter where we rank. It's all about keeping our eyes focused on God. 

“fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:2 NASB

Like the lyrics of the song written by Helen Lemmel in 1922 based on the same verse:

1. O soul, are you weary and troubled?
   No light in the darkness you see?
   There’s light for a look at the Savior,
   And life more abundant and free!

o    Refrain:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

2. Through death into life everlasting
   He passed, and we follow Him there;
   O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
   For more than conqu’rors we are!
3. His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
   Believe Him, and all will be well:
   Then go to a world that is dying,
   His perfect salvation to tell!

Disappointing

In the grand scheme of life, it may seem like a splinter

But in the boundary of my world, it's a cancer

Whether you think I can cope or not, it's still hard

It's still a problem, and it's disappointing that you find my problems small

I never found your struggles small, I never tried to shrug them away

It's disappointing

I needed support, I needed understanding

And what I got instead was "it could be worse"

Yes, of course it could, but at the moment it's crushing my entire world

So it's big to me

It's disappointing

How Far Would I Go?

Me:  I'd follow you to the ends of the earth.
Spousal Unit:  Really?
Me:  Yeah, but that's it. I'm not going to space for you.
Spousal Unit:  Pfft! It might be fun...an adventure!
Me:  There also might not be air or gravity.
Spousal Unit:  You wear a suit...gah!

Humpty Dumpty...the Missing Verses

Humpty Dumpty is really just an allegory for the fall and redemption of man:

What we know:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

And all the kings horses and all the kings men

Couldn't put Humpty back together again

What we're missing:

Because the best things of earth

Couldn't give him new birth

What Humpty was missing

For the mending and fixing

Was a perfect King's blood

Shed for Humpty in love

Waze

My boss recently got me on Waze...the social GPS. It works by taking the input from drivers, such as traffic or accidents, and determines the path of least resistance. For each contribution, the driver gets 6 points. 

Unfortunately, while my boss was trying to report heavy traffic one day, he ran into the car in front of him.  So before getting out, he reported an accident at his current location. When the police car arrived, he reported that too. His accident caused traffic to go to a standstill, so he reported that as well. All in all, he was ecstatic at the number of points he racked up in one go.

The Glass is Half Empty...Half Full...No, Wait...

Trying to program a software enhancement, as told through the age-old question of "Is the glass half empty or half full?"

The business analyst told the team today that the requirement for the project is for us to get the water into the glass and to see if the glass ends up half empty, which is the expected result, or half full, which would indicate failure.

Upon hearing this, the technical team went into a huddle for several minutes before assuring us that if we can find a way to get the water into the glass, then theoretically it should hold. They also directed us on the type of water and glass to use for optimal performance. While they had no guidance on how to actually get the water into the glass, one of the younger members did point out that it's entirely possible that the glass is twice as large as it needs to be. This stupid idea was quickly quashed, and he was reassigned to another team.

While a sub-team convened in another room to tackle the "how" question, the main team contacted the regulatory department to file the needed paperwork to get the water turned on at the source. However, regulatory did not understand exactly why we needed the water, so they refused to comply, citing SLA and privacy laws. It took 3 days and a 35-page design document to convince them that the request was legitimate.

The sub-team returned with 17 easel pad sheets outlining a detailed schematic for a pitcher that theoretically could be used to gather the water from the source and transfer it to the glass. The schematics also called for a lip to be installed on the pitcher to aid in water transfer. The idea was immediately applauded, and a prototype team was sent off to mock up a physical construct of the design.

The quality team developed 53 pages of test scenarios, describing every possible way that the water could be poured from the pitcher into the glass, along with details on how we could ensure that we had reached exactly half of the glass.  A random sample population was designated to be testers to give an unbiased cross-section of the user base.

In the meantime, a ticket needed to be logged with platform support to gain security access to put the water in the glass from the pitcher, because we didn't have access to do that. Unfortunately, after 5 business days, platform support told us that the water we were trying to use was on the restricted list, and we would need to use something else.

All designs were scrapped, prototypes were halted, and the team reconvened for another meeting to discuss possible next steps.

The project leader went hunting.

International Butt Dial

One morning, I got a call from my mother-in-law in Greece. When I picked up, all I heard was background noise, but she didn't say anything. When we talked to her later, we asked her about it, and she said that she must have called by accident.  My first International butt dial!

Shake What Your Momma Gave You, Herbie!

My daughter's school called today and said that she has some boogies and they were afraid she would pass it on to some of the other children. I told the lady not to worry because having rhythm isn't contagious. Ba-doom-tah!

Yak Hair

I read an article that yak hair was used to create werewolf make-up in the early days of cinema. Apparently, yak hair has the same consistency, feel, and look of human hair. As a matter of fact, it's so realistic, that many rich people back in the day would have wigs made out of yak hair.

Can you imagine the guy that has the job to shave the yaks? I don't imagine it's a picnic for the yaks either.

Happy Birthday to Me

This was a birthday that I'll never forget.  At the exact minute that I turned 36...at precisely 9:33 a.m....I was flushing a dead lizard down the toilet.  The very next moment, my lovely wife burst through the door and wished me a happy birthday.  Needless to say, I had a very strange range of emotions at that moment.

Break from Reality Anniversary - Day 11

We woke up today and something had changed.  Our hearts were no longer into the trip.  We missed the familiarity of home, the convenience of a kitchen to cook when we wanted, and shampoo that didn’t come in little bottles.  We decided to head to Devil’s Den State Park for the day, and then cut the trip short and make the drive back to Flower Mound, TX.

We only hiked one trail, the Devil’s Den Trail, being as that is what the park is named for and all.  The scenery was beautiful, but it was a very challenging trail.  If you don’t like steps, then this is not the trail for you.  Also, I can’t say that it was all that peaceful and calm, considering that we started the trail at the same time that two school buses pulled up and unloaded sixty 8-year olds intent on hiking the same trail.  Their shrill voices echoed off the rock walls of the ravine, each one louder than the last as if in a contest to outtalk each other.  This is bat hibernation season, but I don’t think they could get much sleep with that racket going on!

We then drove the five hours back home and found the place much the same as we left it…square and cozy.  I’m off to do laundry.  This is me…signing off.

Break from Reality Anniversary - Day 10

Today was another travel day; this time from Petit Jean State Park to Devil’s Den State Park for the last leg of our journey.  It was a little warm today, so instead of heading to the park, we decided to visit Fort Smith, AR.  On a recommendation from our friend Scott, we went down to the River Walk at the Fort Smith Historic Site.  Apparently, back in the 1800s Fort Smith was known, of all things, for its hanging executions.  They have a whole museum dedicated to the incarceration and hanging of famous criminals from the area.  In an effort to “celebrate” this morbid historical feat, they have a replica gallows built on the grounds, complete with trap doors and everything.  While viewing the gallows with the fascination of a car accident, I was falsely accused of being a turd by my wife and forced to hang for my crimes.  It was all in good fun until she left me hanging there to go off and take pictures of the prison wagon.

The River Walk was a beautiful windy path along the banks of the Arkansas River.  At various points along the path, there were signs commemorating the events leading up to and following the Trail of Tears.  It was sad to read about how the Native Americans were coerced by the government into debt and then forced to sell their land to pay off what they “owed.”

We also visited another local favorite, Ms. Laura’s House of Prostitution, now a historical monument and visitor’s center.  I walked inside, covering my face in shame, hoping that nobody would recognize me.

Break from Reality Anniversary - Day 9

Who says God doesn’t read my blog?!  Only crazy people, that’s who!  We woke up this morning to a torrential downpour raging outside…the forerunner of the incoming cold front that is sliding across the state.  Imposing black skies, rumbling thunder, and massive raindrops were the players in the drama unfolding outside. (Which really sucks when you’re trying to sleep in for a change!)  In addition to all of this, the temperature had also dropped 20 degrees over night!  I’m so glad I brought that ONE pair of long pants.  I guess I’ll be wearing them for the rest of the trip.  It’s a good thing we’ll be outside, so at least they can air out the smell every day.

So, let’s recap.  Much-needed rain?  Check.  Cooler temperatures?  Check.  Actually, this is eerily like our first anniversary here, which did exactly the same thing.  We still have fond memories of snuggling up together under a blanket on the porch in the morning, sipping our hot chocolate and watching the puffs coming from our mouths as our chocolate-warmed breath steamed the frigid air.  Maybe tomorrow morning.

So, already tired of almond butter sandwiches, beef jerky, and chocolate/oat protein bars for breakfast, I decided to go crazy and change it up.  So, I had almond butter sandwiches, beef jerky, and dried apricots instead!  We ate out on the porch again, swaying in our porch swing, watching the storm along with a myriad of God’s creatures who apparently also wanted out of the rain.  We had walking sticks, leaf insects, millipedes, spiders, mosquitoes, and slugs all living in harmony with us as we ate (to be completely honest, the mosquito wasn’t being harmonious, so he got squashed pretty much right off).  We also had a nice long chat with the woman in the cabin next door, who was from Houston, TX of all places.  (It should be noted that this woman gets a special place in my heart, because she not only asked what I did for a living, but continued to probe me for more details after I told her I was a software developer.  On top of that, she was just as interested in me as she was by my exotic, Greek wife…which is completely unheard of!)

We had to change cabins today, a side-effect of waiting until the last minute to decide where you want to spend your money…uh, I mean vacation.  So, we furiously packed our stuff, by which time the rain had stopped, and restuffed the car.  We then checked out…and then checked back in again…before heading over to Cedar Falls Overlook.  (At least the same woman did both parts.  It would have been strange if one woman checked us out, and then someone completely different had to check us back in again.)  We wanted to see if the overnight rain had had any effect on the Falls.  It hadn’t.  It’s going to take more rain than that apparently.

This was followed with a scenic lunch in the Mather Lodge restaurant before heading to Davies Bridge.  This was where we found our second gem of the trip.  While trying to get a better view of the bridge, we hiked a little bit of the Boy Scout trail.  This part of the trail was beautiful, but the gem we found was a local photographer who was hiking the trail from the opposite direction.  He was stopped for a smoking break, and he engaged us in conversation as we went by.  He proceeded to talk to us about the area, where the best views of the park were, where the best photographs of changing leaf color were, and how the Forest Rangers have been getting lazy about cleaning up the fallen trees in the creek (he seemed very passionate about this, that’s why I mention it).  We followed him back down the trail, so he could point out some amazing sites that we would have missed otherwise, like a cool rock overhang and a breathtaking waterfall nestled deep in the woods.

On our “gem’s” recommendation, we headed down the Red Bluff Drive, which takes you to several overlooks that look out over the surrounding forests and valleys.  The drive ends at a site called Rock House Cave, which is a massive Native American shelter formed from the river eating away at the rock over thousands of years.  In the back, with the help of a flashlight, we were able to see pictographs left from the previous occupants.  I wonder how many people miss these, because it’s too dark to see.  The other cool formation in this area is the Turtle Rocks, which are these huge round mounds sticking out of the ground that have square-looking plates all over them.  These were formed by water bubbling up from below the rock as well as water cutting the patterns from above.  Obviously, as you probably guessed from the name, they resemble hundreds of giant turtle shells on either side of the trail.

Now, it’s back to the cabin to cook all of the food that we brought…yes, this one actually has a full kitchen!  Yeah!  The smells emanating from the kitchen, even as I type this, are making me crazy hungry.  Any minute now, I’m expecting raccoons to show up on the back porch, holding out plates.