I went to lunch with my mother-in-law today and we got to talking about the differences between our families and the way we were brought up. She is from Greece, and I am from the United States. I don’t know if it is so much cultural differences or familial differences, but the way that she reacts toward her children is very different from the way that my parents reacted toward me.
She has an uncontrollable desire to give to her children. No matter how old they get or how well off, she still gives to them. Money, gifts, everything. She holds nothing back. She never wanted her children to want for anything if she could provide it. They had opportunities to go places and do things that I could never have dreamed of. They never struggled or suffered. Of course the downside to this is that her children never truly understood the value of anything or the satisfaction of working hard for something.
This is very different from my family which basically strived to make my brother and I independent. When we graduated college and got our first jobs, we immediately assumed all of our own bills. The financial support stopped for the most part and we were thrown out of the nest to earn our own keep. (Granted there was the occasional aid in times of great need.) I learned to value every dollar that I made, because I had worked so hard to get it. There were times that I struggled, but with the good Lord’s help I always had enough. I have the satisfaction now of knowing I dug myself out of the hole all on my own.
So, which way is the right way? Neither, I say. They both have their advantages and disadvantages. Even though I still find it hard to accept my mother-in-law’s generosity, because I am so used to working for things on my own, I have been blessed to experience both ways of thinking. I can only hope that one day with my own kids that I can be somewhere in the middle.
