The Fan That Divides Us

Ever since I was a kid, I have slept with a fan.  I use it mostly to circulate the air in the room, because my nose get stopped up, and I can’t breathe if it gets too stuffy.  However, it has come to have other uses as well, such as cooling me down in the hotter months and covering up the myriad of noises that break the stillness of the night.

When I got married, my wife took an immediate hatred to my fan.  Something about the constant, consistent rhythm of the whirring of the blades…the even cadence of the noise…angers her.  Even though I know it’s a lie, she claims that she can’t sleep when I have the fan on (her snoring would lend credence to my claims).  But after fourteen years of living with the fan, she suddenly  has had enough.  On occasion, we have even taken to sleeping in separate rooms, because she refuses to deal with it anymore.

So, something as stupid and innocent as a fan is tearing our marriage apart.  Who would have thought that the mistress that would one day come between us is made from metal, wire, and an electrical motor.  Well, for the sake of keeping my wife happy and keeping us together, I have taken to turning off the fan on the odd night, so we have a sort of compromising truce.  Of course, she won’t be satisfied until it’s off permanently, but I’m not quite ready to go that far yet.  So for now, we have an uneasy cease fire.