Found...Dead at Work

I was reading this article about this guy that died at his desk at work, and nobody noticed there was anything wrong for five days. Apparently, the guy was always the first one in, the last one to leave, and it wasn’t unusual for him to work for days on end without talking to anyone.

I’m a little appalled by this. So, basically this guy got paid for doing nothing for five days! If it was my company, I’m sure my widow could expect a nice payroll deduction on my last paycheck. “Dead at desk…5.0 units @ 168.00…-$840.”

It’s not all bad, though, at least I could get a nice tax credit on my taxes. When I did my taxes this year, the software asked me if I had died before December 31. I was a little unsure how to answer that. I skipped the question until I saw if I was going to get money back or owe the government. I figured maybe I wouldn’t have to pay if I was dead. I came to find out later that death is not an excuse for not paying your taxes. Apparently, tax collectors can even find you in the afterlife!

Squatty Potty

S.M. came across this article yesterday about squatting toilets, or the “squatty potty,” which are apparently common in parts of Asia and the Middle East. This is essentially just a hole in the ground that you squat over to do your business. There is no flushing mechanism. If you’re lucky, you’ll find a bucket of water sitting next to the hole to help clean up after yourself! (Does this remind anyone else of a Port-o-Potty…minus the bucket of water, of course?)

The article went on to describe the proper way to use the toilets; proper squatting technique, how to clean yourself only with your left hand (and how not to eat with that hand later), how to properly dispose of your toilet paper, etc.

I realize that here at work we don’t have squatting toilets, but I figured the same technique could be applied to a normal toilet. It would just take achieving the proper balance while standing up there on the toilet seat. I discovered that is not as easy as you might think. For one thing, you are limited in the width you can spread your feet apart, since the toilet seat is only “so” wide. And for another, it is doubly hard to squat, keep your balance, and still have your hands free to play Midnight Pool on your cell phone.

I don’t think the “squatty potty” will catch on here anytime soon.