I have long believed that my inability to attract the attention of the opposite sex stemmed from the fact that I wore a wedding ring. However, recent experiments of going shopping without my wedding ring have shown that belief to be false. I still am unable to get ogled. This has led me to establish a new theory.
I must be reeking of what I like to call the “marriage aroma.” This aroma, while completely invisible to me, must be evident to every woman out there. It identifies me immediately as being married and wards off any potential attention I might get. If it isn’t something that all husbands get when they say, “I do,” then I suspect that it is something that my wife has concocted to protect her “investment.”
The “marriage aroma” is really the only plausible explanation. A few of the guys at work have suggested that maybe I’m just not attractive to the opposite sex…which is just absurd. Everyone knows I’m God’s gift to women. So, it must be the “marriage aroma.”
