The Wizard of Oz

At my job, I often feel like I have to overcome the impossible and take on the brunt of the burden.  People rely on me and come to me for so many things that I often feel as if I’m drowning in a sea of bodies.  I even have people from other teams that I have never met before coming to me with questions about integrations, because someone that they know told them that I was the guy with the answers.  At first, it was flattering; but after a while, it just became suffocating.  The more I gave, the more people wanted.  The consequences of reliability and generosity were a hundred more hands tugging at my clothes.  Each day became a construct of illusion and magic just to survive.  On my way out the door each morning, I used to joke with my wife, “I’m off to be the wizard!”

When my boss recently left, my former manager (who was now my peer) was promoted to his position.  I supported this because she had the most experience dealing with the bureaucracy and corporate politics, and I felt she had the best chance to quickly step in and calm the waters.  As with everyone, she has strengths and weaknesses.  She is a strong task manager.  She is a weak innovator.  When she has a plan, she is very good at driving it to completion, but it’s the coming up with the plan that she struggles with.  That’s where I come in.

She has come to rely heavily on my counsel.  She runs every question, every decision, every issue past me to get my ideas.  It has gotten to the point that she won’t decide on anything until she has consulted me on it first.  While I am again flattered that my opinions are valued, and I appreciate the experience of being involved and learning the business side of things, I still can’t help but feel like I am secretly running the team from behind a curtain.  In reality, I truly have become the wizard.