I had a weird dream last night. Actually, it was just one in a series of bad dreams over the last several nights. In my dream, I was naked. I know that on the surface that doesn’t sound so bad, especially to my wife who knows my penchant for going “a la in the buff” pretty much every chance I get. But what made it bad was the fact that everyone else in the dream was clothed. Let’s take it a step further to say that not only were they clothed, but they were consciously aware of the fact that I was naked. Trust me, that situation is even awkward in a dream.
I tried all sorts of things to be more modest…the convenient placement of a hand or a crossed leg…but it’s hard to stay focused on the “story” of the dream when you’re constantly having to worry about the fact that people know you’re naked and are uncomfortable by it. I finally resorted to trying to “dream” myself some clothes, but as is usually the case with dreams, things did not turn out as planned.
My next appearance in my dream found me standing there with a fig leaf over the appropriate area like some early Renaissance statue. Technically, that should have sufficed to allow me to go on with the story, but then I became obsessed with figuring out how the leaf was staying on since there was no obvious attachment device. Not to mention the constant questions from the other members of my “dream cast” about why I was wearing a fig leaf instead of clothes, like everyone else.
Having one of these dreams would be bad enough, but to find the same problem night after night, as I dream my way through various adventures is just disconcerting. It’s also not easy to feel powerful and confident when people are constantly laughing at my underdeveloped arms and legs and my oversized belly. Aren’t you supposed to be anything you want to be in your dreams…a powerful superhero, a ladies man, rich and confident? Well, either something’s wrong or this is a sign from a higher power that I’m supposed to save the world single-handedly with nothing more than a fig leaf!
