Me: Our wedding was filled with drama. I was so busy running around coordinating the
whole event that I don’t remember half of it.
But I do remember an incident that happened with my father, stepmother, mother-in-law,
and brother-in-law. There is a custom in
Greece that when someone is coming to your country for the first time, or you’re
meeting them for the first time, that you go out of your way to make them feel
welcome. That was how my in-laws made me
feel when I first visited Greece.
Naturally, they expected the same thing when they came to the United
States for our wedding.
My
mother-in-law and brother-in-law took to my mother right off the bat. I think that was because she had agreed to go
pick them up from the airport and then had gotten them settled in. They thoroughly loved talking to her, and
they still ask about her wellbeing to this day.
My
father and stepmother, however, did not get off on the right foot. The moment they showed up at the bed and
breakfast, they instantly gravitated to my brother and his family. They did not seek out my soon to be in-laws
and properly welcome them to this country, which my soon to be in-laws took as
a slight to the highest degree.
Spousal Unit: There was an issue with my husband’s father
and stepmother. The expectation was that
they would seek out my family to meet them and welcome them. That is what we do in Greece. To not do so is considered rude and
unforgiveable. We just don’t treat people
like that, so we don’t expect to be treated like that. Well, the first thing they did was start
talking to their other son and playing with their granddaughters. They couldn’t even take five minutes to greet
my family. Needless to say, my brother
pulled me aside and let me hear all about it.
He
was livid. He went on and on about how
rude this was and about how he couldn’t figure out how my fiancé had turned out
so well coming from people like this. He
further expounded on the fact that they were the exact opposite of my fiancé’s
mother, who he adored. I tried to calm him
down. He agreed to get through the
wedding without incident, but he would not forgive this slight. He and my mother forbid me to tell anyone
about this conversation, especially my fiancé.
Me: Late on the night before the wedding, I got a
knock on the door to my room. I opened the
door and found my fiancé standing in the pale light. She asked me to come outside and talk, so I
grabbed my jacket and went out. She
conveyed to me the conversation she’d had with her brother and mother about the
snubbing by my father and stepmother, which of course instantly set me
off. Not so much that they were upset,
which was understandable, but that they had forbid her to tell me. I felt like it was my right to know.
I
instantly marched over to my father’s room and asked to speak with him. He listened to my explanation about how his
actions were perceived as rude and culturally unacceptable…before blowing up in
a tirade. He had an excuse for
everything, but none of it held water.
His actions were perceived as rude and intention didn’t play into
it. I told him that my fiancé was upset
and begged him to try to remedy the situation, so that it didn’t ruin our wedding. Instead, he decided that he was going to just
pack up and leave.
Spousal Unit: I was afraid to tell my fiancé about the
conversation with my brother, but I needed to tell someone. He was my best friend, and I didn’t want to
start off our marriage with secrets and lies.
I’m not sure what I expected him to do about it exactly…nothing, I
guess. I just wanted him to know. I wanted him to share my burden.
I
was not expecting him to get mad and march off to his father’s room. He was so in charge and commanding at that moment. I was both proud and scared at the same
time. I had never seen him like that
before. I didn’t know what he was going
to do, but I was freaking out that it was going to get back to my brother that
I had told.
Me: I left my father’s room more upset than when
I had gone there. I was disappointed in
his behavior and mad that he would ruin my wedding out of his own selfish
pride. I went and found my fiancé to let
her know about my conversation, spewing expletives throughout. I had just finished conveying my father’s
response, when the man himself walked up, my stepmother in tow.
Apparently,
cooler heads had prevailed, my stepmother’s, and they wanted to talk about how
to repair the situation. In other words,
my stepmother wanted to talk, my father wanted to sulk at being forced to admit
he was wrong. So, we found a little
sitting area in between the buildings and we talked it out. It got heated in parts, but we came to a
mutual understanding and decided on a plan.
They were going to make an over-the-top effort the next morning at
breakfast and apologize profusely for not welcoming my in-laws properly the day
before. My father was less than thrilled
with the idea, but he begrudgingly agreed.
Spousal Unit: I didn’t know what to expect when my fiancé’s
father and stepmother walked up to us.
His father looked pissed and just stood there with a scowl on his face
and his hands thrust into his pockets.
We found a place to sit and talk, which was dark and poorly lit. The bugs kept buzzing around as they tried to
decide if they wanted to go toward the light or away from it. The conversation went about as well as could
be expected with my fiancé and his stepmother doing most of the talking. I was regretting ever having said anything
about this. It was a disaster.
Me: The next day, I ran into my grandmother at
breakfast, and I asked how she had slept.
“Terrible,” she said. When I
asked her why, she added, “Somebody was up arguing outside my window all
night. It kept me awake.” I blushed and hastily excused myself to check
on the arrangements for the day.
