- The time it takes to see your entire life flash before your eyes right before you get into an accident.
- The time it takes to either make my wife’s night or ruin my own based on what I say when I first walk in the door.
- The time it takes me to comb my hair after a shower.
- The time it takes to genuinely ask how someone is doing.
- The time it takes for a kid to go from clean to dirty.
- The time I can stay on the mechanical rocket outside the supermarket before I'm bucked off.
- The time your car stays new after you drive off the lot.
- The time of clear breathing that I have in between blowing my nose and it filling back up.
- The time it takes for B.D. to finish two double-cheeseburgers and a basket of fries at Dairy Queen.
- The time it takes my wife to be completely asleep when her head hits the pillow.
