A Single Moment of Patheticism

Do you know a single defining moment when you realize that you are completely pathetic? Well, I would like to share one with you. I was in the bathroom washing my hands. I dried off on the paper towel, thoroughly getting every nook, every cranny – because I am obsessive like that – and then wadded the paper towel up. Now in the bathroom the trash can was only about two inches from my feet. Acting all cool like I was some basketball superstar I go to do my best “Air” Jordan impression, attempting to slam the paper towel in the trash can only to miss. All I could do was watch in horror as it splatted against the floor six inches wide right.

How is that possible? How do you miss by six inches when you were only two inches away to begin with? That means that it had to travel…let’s see…well…carry the one…almost eight inches to go the two inches I intended in the first place. The only thing worse than that is when you do something this pathetic and someone is watching.

I know you all have stories like that, so let’s hear your best pathetic moments.

Raindrop Lullabies

It is raining hard today. The drops are so big that it sounds like a hundred little kids running on the roof, or maybe a theater erupting in ovation after a grand symphonic or theatrical performance. The clouds are so thick that they have blocked out the sun and cast the world outside into an unnatural darkness. Thunder rumbles across the sky in slow, deep tones, announcing the presence of a great storm.

It is a great day to be home, sitting by the window, and reading a book. The rain lulling you into a peaceful slumber, making your eyes heavier with each passing moment. You fight it determined to keep reading, but slowly, slowly you give in and let the rhythmic lullabies of the rain pull you into a world of dreams. Your head tilts to rest gently on the window. You can feel the cool glass pressed against your cheek and the subtle vibrations as the raindrops hit the window outside. Your half-read book drops to the floor as your fingers slowly relax and release their hold. You unconsciously pull your knees up to your chest, wrap your warm blanket around you, and drift into a wonderful sleep.