I have this strange habit of bouncing while I’m cooking. As if somehow my increased activity will help the food cook that much faster. My wife attributes it to me being hyperactive. I’m not ruling that possibility out, but I prefer to think of it as “Excessive Energy.”
What really gets her, though, is when I stand in strange poses. The pose varies depending on the food I’m cooking. Pasta might justify a pose on one leg with the other leg sticking straight out to the side like a martial artist caught in the middle of a round-house kick. Beef might justify standing like a stereotypical Spanish dancer; straight and tall, legs crossed, one hand at my waist and the other over my head, snapping. Chicken might justify forming gigantic letters of the alphabet, like I’m a living alphabet soup. You get the idea.
She has taken to ignoring these displays, like a mother might do with a child trying to get attention. When I sense this attitude, I throw in some grunts or humming…something vocal. On nights when I’ve really lost my mind, I do combinations of all three…bouncing, posing, and vocalizing. This usually elicits one cocked eyebrow from her, followed by the words, “You’re weird.”
