When
I was in Missouri, I got pulled over for drunk driving. Now, anyone that knows me knows that this is
completely ludicrous, because I don’t drink alcohol…like, not at all…ever. So, to be pulled over for drunk driving is
just ironic. The police officer realized
her obvious mistake the moment she started talking to me, but I was already
over, so it was too late.
I
was on the way home from the movies, where my spousal unit and I had stopped after
work for an impromptu date night.
According to the police officer, I was swerving over the white lines and…and
this was the real clincher…I failed to use my turn signal when changing
lanes. It should be known that the road
was really windy. So as opposed to swerving
over the white lines in a drunken and disorderly manner, as she made it sound,
I was actually hugging the lines as I went around the curves…racing style. And back then, I never used my turn signals,
because I came from Texas. And in Texas,
using a turn signal is just asking for someone to speed up to cut you off and
block the hole.
The
worst part about this experience is that my spousal unit, who was in her own
car, saw me get pulled over and just kept on driving. How do I know this? Because she texted me to tell me. Followed by her food order for the Subway
sandwich I was supposed to be getting. I’m
not quite sure her priorities were in the correct place.
