Today, I was in a long meeting. Halfway through, the other person needed a break, so he got up to get some water. He left the room and shut the door. And that's when I discovered it. He'd left me a nice treat behind. And that sucker was potent! Within seconds it had permeated every corner of the room. It was so bad that I had to seek shelter outside the room as well.
When I accused the guy of the dastardly deed, he adamantly denied it. I told him that there were only two of us in the room, so one of us was lying.
Wouldn't it be nice if farts had a methane signature? Something that identified them to the person that dealt them, like DNA or a fingerprint. Do you know how useful that would be? No more getting falsely accused of fumigating the elevator. No more getting anonymously "crop dusted." No more conference room farts that nobody is man enough to claim.
On a side note, I was shopping tonight for shoes. I was standing there feeling the lack of cushion in a pair of dress shoes, when I was hit by the same foul stench that I had smelled earlier in the meeting. Suddenly realizing that I was the only one on the aisle, I started to suspect that I was the culprit of the earlier crime as well. Pride and joy filled my heart that I was able to eradicate a room like that...it lasted but a few minutes, because the reek got so bad I had to leave the store.
