HR has a friend that cannot tolerate extremely hot
cuisine. HR being an Indian used to
spicier food has no frame of reference for someone that likes to actually taste
their food, instead of experiencing something that instantly burns your taste
buds with a hot poker and removes the ability to ever taste again
simultaneously. When she goes to
Firehouse Subs, the spiciest hot sauce is so “tame” to her that she has to
combine several of them together to try to up the spice number.
Now, I can relate to this poor non-Indian friend, because I
can’t tolerate spicy food either. HR has
taken to referring to us both as having a spice level of Sour Cream. Apparently, that’s the hottest food we can
eat. The funny thing is that neither of
us are offended by this comment.
There was an episode of Psych titled Bollywood Homicide
that perfectly sums up what it’s like for someone with a Sour Cream spice level
to eat Indian food made the way HR likes it.
GRANDMOTHER: Wonderful. More mouths to feed. Thank you for the
advanced notice.
SHAWN: No, we didn't come to eat. [Gus and Shawn sit down and
load up food on their plates.]
RAJ: You know, guys, my grandmother tends to make her food a
little spicy. You might want to take it easy.
GUS: Please. I'm one-quarter Jamaican. [Digging into the food
with relish.]
SHAWN: I'm also one-quarter Jamaican.
GUS: You are not! Stop telling people that!
GRANDMOTHER: So how do you know my grandson Jay?
SHAWN: We're actually friends of Raj.
GRANDMOTHER: You're not here for Jay and Sita's engagement
dinner?
GUS: We're helping Raj with a problem.
SHAWN: I'm sorry, was this chicken seasoned with molten lava?
SHAWN: Really? You're just fine?
ABIGAIL: I taught English to children in Mumbai for a month. This
is very authentic. What's the matter, Shawn, you don't like it?
[Tears are running down Shawn and Gus’s faces. Gus is sniffling,
but both of them keep eating.]
SHAWN: I think I like it too much. It's so authentic. [Whispering
to Gus] I can't see anything out of my left eye.
GUS: I see dead people.
[Shawn takes a big drink of water to cool off his mouth. Gus
continues to eat next to him.]
SHAWN: My god, even the water's spicy! Who does that?!
