Perspective

I listen to JD's stories about her daughter, and I can't help but laugh to realize how differently kids think about and see the world. I think that most people dismiss it too quickly as childish ignorance, but it makes perfect sense when seen from a couple of feet lower. A child may lack experience, but their rationale and logic are not flawed.

For instance, I may have never thought about the display in the front window of a wig shop as a display for a new head. But having had this pointed out to me, I can't help but agree that it could logically be viewed that way.

Maybe we all could use a dose of perspective. Maybe we'd be able to come up with better solutions to designs and problems, instead of just seeing it from the view of our invisible box.

Sneezes and Time Travel

I was in a meeting the other day when one of the guys at the table sneezed...hard. He sneezed so hard that he actually blew his chair back a few inches. (Not hard to do when you're only four feet eleven inches tall, and your feet don't touch the floor.) Anyway, he shook his head and asked, "What happened?"

To which another guy at the table responded, "You sneezed, that's what happened. Are you okay?"

The sneezer still looked a bit disoriented. So, I piped up, "Oh my gosh, he sneezed so hard that he blew himself backward a few minutes in time." I waved my hand in front of the sneezer and said loudly, "Do you know what year this is?"

New Calling Message

I want to get a new automated message that plays when I'm calling people at work. Before I get on the line, the person on the other end would hear something like:

"Please hold for a very important message from The Man, The Myth, The Legend."

For Sale

One faded, black sock, ribbed top, gold toe. Mate lost during washing. Would be perfect for someone with a similar faded, black sock. $1 OBO.

The Best Actors Play Soccer

I was watching the World Cup this weekend, and I'm convinced now that the best actors in the world must play soccer. Those guys spent more time flying through the air or writhing on the ground, trying to convince the referee that they had been fouled, then they spent actually playing.

During the Germany-Australia match, Germany actually received two yellow cards for being overly dramatic. It was awesome! One of the guys actually spent several minutes arguing with the referee about it. The replay showed that the defender didn't even touch him...missed him completely. But he still fell to the ground, grabbing his leg.

On another play, a defender barely tapped a guy in the shin...where he has a shinguard, I might add...and the guy writhed around on the ground for five minutes, holding his shin. You'd have thought the guy's bone was sticking out of the skin. Two minutes later, the guy was racing toward the goal trying to head in a cross. Yeah, must have been a serious injury.

It was pathetic to watch. When I played soccer, if you got knocked down, then you popped back up as quickly as possible, so you could get back on the ball. You didn't perform some acrobatic stunt across the field. What are they teaching these guys? Are you winning because you outplayed the other team or because you outacted them?

You Could've Called

In this day and age of technology, there seems to me no excuse for standing someone up. You have e-mail, texting, cell phones...surely you can find a way to let someone know what's going on. This especially applies if you've agreed to come to the event you were invited to or agreed to at least let someone know if you're coming or not.

So, if you decide not to come, but fail to notify the person that you're not coming, then you're just being rude. Exceptions to this, of course, include death and unforeseen emergencies. Finding something better to do or getting roped into going furniture shopping with your wife is not an emergency.

Being Drowsy After Lunch

As I sit here washing slurping down the last vestiges of my soft drink from lunch, I'm reading an article that says to avoid soft drinks in the afternoon as they tend to make you sleepy. Apparently, the sugars in the soft drink cause certain chemical levels to increase in your brain, causing you to become drowsy. This can be a problem for most people in the United States since we still have half a day of work to suffer through before we can take a nap. The article noted how a lot of countries take a siesta time in the afternoon to ward off this drowsiness.

There are several people at my office who believe in this philosophy whether it's allowed or not. I wonder if you could do it and claim it's for medical, cultural, or religious reas....

[Snoring can be heard coming from my cube.]

Little League Sports

Little League sports is not about winning and losing...

It's about scoring more points than the other team and cheering as they walk away dejected and sad.

Hard on Laptops

My wife can be very hard on laptops. She is on her 4th laptop in as many years. Not because she just wanted to upgrade to newer technology, but because she keeps unintentionally sabotaging them. One was lost to an exploding shampoo bottle in her suitcase. One was lost to a suicidal glass of water. (This one actually managed to run for several more months before finally succumbing to nagging injuries.) The last one just surrendered. I'm not sure how she managed it exactly, but one night while running several memory-intensive movies she was editing for her thesis defense, a little white flag came up out of the keyboard and started waving. A few minutes later, the laptop gasped and went dark.

Oh sure, they can program in a little white flag, but they can't manage to put the Delete key where anybody can find it!

What does she do again?

My wife and I had a nice dinner with a couple tonight. On the drive home, I realized that I have no idea what the lady I just ate with does for a living. I'm almost positive neither of them know what I do for a living. We spent an entire evening together talking and laughing with the conversation remaining lively and constant, and never once did we talk about work.

Most people don't hold work in jovial fondness, and it's expressed in the way they talk about it. They complain, grumble, sneer. As my mother so nicely put it, "Work is a four-letter word."

I think the most fascinating people I know are capable of carrying on a conversation about a myriad of topics never having to resort to the "work fallback." This is especially true about work colleagues. Of course we share common ground about work, but if our association is going to progress to friendship, then we'll have to be able to talk about more than work.

My evening tonight is proof at how easy this is to accomplish.

No Such Thing as Ghosts

An acquaintence of mine was telling a story about how he stayed in a "haunted" hotel while on vacation. He related the freaky stuff that went on during their stay, such as his girlfriend disappearing from the room and ending up on another floor. Trying to be rational about it, they figured that she was just sleep-walking. However, that explanation disappeared when they realized the deadbolt was still locked from the inside of the room. So, they chalked it up to ghosts and a supernatural experience.

Am I alone to think it odd that people blindly accept ghosts...beings that cannot be explained by human logic, have powers beyond human ability, and are only ever seen as smudges of light or haze?

I find it fascinating that people have no problems believing in the supernatural in regard to ghosts, but adamantly refuse to believe in the existance of demons, angels, and God. With the latter they need proof that they exist. Proof that is not required to believe in the former. They believe that these "ghosts" mean them harm (demons) or help them in times of need (angels). In most regards their beliefs mirror a Christian's take on reality, but they vehemently refuse to accept a Biblical explanation or perspective.

I don't get it. What's the difference?