My New Workout Videos

I ordered this set of exercise videos off TV, because let’s face it, I’m not getting in shape by just sitting and watching people exercise on TV. It was a whole kit, complete with videos, diet plan, recipe book, work-out schedule, and fitness bands.

So last night, I decided to try out the first video. I bent over to pick up the box off the floor and pulled a muscle in my groin. I decided that was good enough for the first day.

Inside Shoes

When I was three years-old, a stupid little girl threw me off the monkey bars. The ultimate result of this disaster was that I broke my arm. I didn't know that specifically at the time, but I did know that it hurt...a lot. The teacher did her due diligence and called my parents. To their credit, both of them showed up to take care of me. I only remember two things vividly about this memory.

I remember that I would not leave the daycare until my parents changed my shoes. The daycare had a strict policy about not wearing your outside shoes inside, and vice versa. So, here are my poor parents trying to rush me to the emergency room, and I'm crying and won't leave until they changed my shoes.

I also remember that my father brought me a stuffed dinosaur. I named him Dino. I used to carry that thing around by the neck everywhere I went. I still have him. His head flops to one side now, because I squeezed all the stuffing out of his neck.

The Strangeness of Dreams

Have you ever had a dream where you dream about a person you know? In the dream you are consciously aware that the person you are dreaming about is the person you know. Your mind registers this fact. But they don't look like the person you know, act like the person you know, and your dream self doesn't feel about this dream person in the same way that your real self feels about the real person.

And yet your dream self also knows all this. So, you struggle in your dream with two sides to your self. One side acknowledges that this person is in fact exactly who they should be, while the other side tells you that something isn't quite right with them.

Toasting Up Before the Cold

When I was young, my Mom would always wake my brother and I up with steaming cups of hot chocolate on cold days. Each cup had extra marshmallows, hand counted to an equal number, so we wouldn't fight. And while we drank our hot chocolate and took our showers, she would toss our clothes for the day into the dryer to get them all toasty warm for us.

It was a small gesture, but one that obviously stuck with me. I still look back on it and remember it warmly (pun intended.)

Must Sign Your Credit Card

I went to the post office the other day and tried to use my credit card. The lady behind the counter wouldn't accept it because it wasn't signed. I offered to show her my ID, but she said that the card would still need to be signed. So, I signed the credit card, and she processed my transaction.

She then handed me the sales slip to sign. When I handed it back to her, she took it and compared it to the signature on the back of my credit card. Satisfied that they matched, she gave me my card and receipt and wished me a nice day. She never looked at my ID.

I would have to be the stupidest thief on the face of the planet to forge the signature on two documents, one right after the other, with different signatures. What kind of security is that really providing me?

Matches the Spec

BD was testing the latest release of his project's code, and he came upon a situation where the code wasn't acting as expected. He wrote up the defect, and the developer went to talk to him. The developer told BD that it wasn't a defect, because the code matched the spec. The developer then proceeded to pull the spec out and show BD. BD agreed that the spec the developer had printed did indeed say that, but he told the developer that he didn't have the latest version of the spec.

The developer pointed to the paper and said that that's what the spec said, so it wasn't a defect. BD pointed to the paper and said that it wasn't the latest version of the spec, so it was a defect. The developer tapped the paper and said that the code matched the spec, so it wasn't wrong.

BD having come to the end of his patience for the situation, picked up his pencil and marked through parts of the paper. He then told the developer that the code no longer matched the spec, so it needed to be changed. The developer stood there for several minutes looking at the paper, before he picked it up and walked away...beaten.