How Old Are You Again?

My wife says that I'm so immature that I act like a 4-year old. She says that she feels more like a mom than a wife. I'd have to say that half of the time, she's dead on. The other half of the time I feel more like 54 years old. My joints pop, I'm crotchety, and I make comments like, "I can't understand girls nowadays with their non-existent shorts."

Sometimes, the switch can be a day apart. The other day, I glued a quarter to the ground just to laugh while people stopped to try to pick it up. The next day, I had completely forgotten about it, and I stopped to try to pick up this quarter on the sidewalk, only to find that someone had glued it down.

Who's Packing?

A recent report showed that 1 in 10 people in any given movie theater in Missouri will be carrying a concealed handgun. That means that approximately one person on every single row of the theater has a handgun.

I come from the great state of Texas, and I suspect that this statistic would be closer to 1 in 2 people carrying a handgun in any give movie theater in Texas. It's so prevalent that we even have disclaimers at the beginning of the movie that said, "Be courteous to your fellow patrons. Please silence all cell phones and put all handguns on safety."