Incompatibility Test

A few months back, my friend and his wife were having marital problems, so they went to a counselor for help.  The first thing the counselor did was to give them a capability test to see where they aligned and where they needed some work.  It had questions like “How many children would you like to have?” or “If you received some money for your birthday, what would you do with it?” or “Do you get along well with your in-laws?”  He asked them to answer honestly, so that the process could work, and they went away to take the test.

After the counselor had tallied up the results, he brought them back together and said, “Well, I have some good news and some bad news, which would you like first?” 

My friend said, “Let’s start with the bad news.” 

The counselor replied, “Okay, well the bad news is that I have never seen a couple score lower on this compatibility test.  In fact, you actually got the lowest possible score that you can get.” 

My friend and his wife were squirming in their chairs at this news, and my friend asked, “Well, what’s the good news then?” 

The counselor leaned back in his chair and said, “You can only go up from here.  The good Lord knows that you can’t possibly go down!”

The Candy Bowl

Since I have a new office for my new position, I put a candy bowl out to tempt people when they come to visit me.  Truth be told, I put it out to tempt people to come to visit me in my office.  It seems I have become a thing to avoid unless they need something, so few people come just to talk and see how I’m doing.

Unfortunately, the candy bowl idea has backfired as most people claim that they are on a diet or don’t eat chocolate.  In fact, the person that has eaten most of the candy is yours truly.  However, I think it should be noted that I only eat the 3 Musketeers, because they’re so light and fluffy that it’s like I’m eating diet chocolate!