Toast and Chocolate Milk

One of my favorite childhood memories was waking up on a Saturday morning and having toast and chocolate milk with my mom and brother.  That warm bread getting golden brown as the heat from the toaster cooked its doughy sides.  Steam rising off of it in wafts, as the butter melted into a puddle.  And the decadent smell of chocolate being stirred and stirred into the milk, turning it from a crisp white into a silky, smooth brown.

We'd take our treat into the den, cuddle up on the couch, and take turns dipping our toast into the chocolate milk.  The triangular pieces coming out dripping with the chocolaty liquid and mingling the salty with the sweet.  I know that many people that I've told that to think it sounds disgusting, but to me, it's perfect.  It reminds me of home.  Besides, don't knock it until you've tried it!

So, in a nod to my mother and brother and the sweet memories of my childhood, I made myself toast and chocolate milk tonight.  It was everything I remembered.

The Bobby Pin

A little-known fact about me is that in high school, I used to keep a bobby pin in my wallet.  It was clipped on the dollar-bill divider right in the crease of the wallet.  Hardly noticeable unless you were looking for it.  This might seem like an odd thing to have in a man's wallet.  I had a marine-cut haircut all during high school, so it obviously wasn't there for the express purpose that it was made...to hold my hair back.  So, why you might ask did I keep a bobby pin in my wallet? 

Well, to be used as a lock pick, of course, in the event (or eventuality I believed in high school) that I would be locked up somewhere and need to pick the lock to get out.  I was so paranoid that this was bound to happen to me at some point that I wanted to be ready.  So, I carried that stupid bobby around for four years, only to be disappointed that I never had a chance to use it.  Some guys carry business cards, some carry pictures of their girlfriend, some carry condoms...I carried a lock pick.  And that explains a lot about me in high school.

Smart Nora

I recently came across a product called Smart Nora.  It boasted the ability to help you or your partner with snoring, particularly snoring that is so loud that it wakes your partner up.  Since my spousal unit has a snoring problem (although, I guess it's only a problem to the person that has to listen to it), I decided that this product was exactly what we needed!

I have tried everything in the past from nudging her awake (got whacked in the face because she thought she was being attacked), to talking to her (got chewed out for waking her up for no reason, because she obviously wasn't snoring), to full body launching myself into the air to "bounce" her awake (has zero effect on a Tempur-pedic mattress where you can jump up and down with a glass of wine and not spill a drop), to sleeping in another room (oddly, I can still hear her on the other side of the house too, so defeated the purpose).  The science with Smart Nora seemed more promising, though.  It works by "listening" for snoring at a certain decibel level, and then an electronic air jack raises and lowers your pillow to stimulate your relaxed throat muscles to breath normally again.  What could go wrong?!  So, we bought it.

The first two nights, it worked great.  My spousal unit got used to the gentle, slow movement of the pillow and said she had the best sleep she'd had in a long time.  Unfortunately, I didn't see any positive changes on my part, because I stayed awake all night to see if she was going to snore and if Smart Nora would control it.  It was the third night that we found the first flaw in the system.  I finally relaxed into a deep sleep, satisfied that we had finally found the solution to our snoring dilemma.  And that's when it happened.  According to an unverified source, I was so relaxed that I presumably started snoring too.  My crescendo of delight reached such wondrous heights, that Smart Nora picked up on it and started adjusting my spousal unit's pillow.  Which obviously didn't solve the real problem, which was MY collapsing air cavities.  But it created another problem as well...she wasn't asleep yet.  She was still up reading her book when her head started "bobbing" up and down...albeit ever so slowly.

So, now we're faced with a new dilemma.  Pony up a lot more money for a second system, which adjusts both of us if either of us snore, or share a single pillow.  That's it, there are no other options.  And let's be perfectly honest, there is really only one option, because the other one is ludicrous.  

So, now my wife and I have had to learn how to do synchronized "spooning" as we share the pillow.  When either of us needs to turn over, we both have to turn over.  The nice thing is that we've learned to do it without having to fully wake up, and because of Smart Nora, we still have a peaceful sleep!