The Incredibly Shrinking Pants

J.D.’s husband was complaining that his pants didn’t fit anymore. He could barely get them buttoned. J.D. told him it was because he was getting fat. He replied, “I’m not getting fat. My pants must be shrinking. I think every time we do the laundry they shrink a little more. Maybe you shouldn’t wash them as often.” She was laughing too hard to come up with an intelligent response.

40 Pounds of Limp

J.D. was telling me about how her daughter has a hard time getting up in the mornings. Several days J.D. has been late because it took her so long to get her daughter moving. She finally decided that it would be easier to just dress her daughter in her clothes the night before. That way she could just pick her up and put her in the car in the morning. I commented that that sounded like a brilliant idea. She said, “Well, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. You would be amazed at how much 40 pounds of limp can weigh!”