The Three Stoplights

VJ caught me after work today and asked me for some advice.  She’s got a tough decision on her plate, one that could greatly affect her marriage, and she’s not sure how to proceed.  Her husband wants to do something, something that involves spending a lot of money, money that she’s been saving for a down-payment on a house.  She wants to support him, but she’s also unsure about spending their savings on an unproven plan.  It’s the ultimate question of faith.

I told her that when I find myself in these situations, I implore the three stoplights.  It comes from a sermon that my pastor preached last year.  He said that whenever he and his wife have a difficult decision ahead of them, that they both go and pray about it.  Then, they come back and talk about what God revealed to them.  A green light means that God revealed that it’s His will, and they should proceed.  A red light means that this is not from God, and they should not proceed.  A yellow light means that they didn’t get a clear feeling either way.  They only move forward with decisions where both get a green light.  There are times when God does not reveal the same thing to each of them.  On several occasions, he has received a green light and his wife has received yellow or red.  If my pastor decided to go ahead with these plans anyway, he said they always went badly.

So that was my advice to her…for her and her husband to both go pray separately and then discuss what God revealed to them.  I said that praying separately lends confirmation to the answer.  Sometimes you aren’t sure if you’re hearing God’s voice or your own voice.  So having God reveal it in two people will help confirm that it’s His will.  It also takes us out of it…our inhibitions, our anxiety, our plans.

VJ said that while she liked the idea, God doesn’t speak to her like that.  It’s usually not so cut and dry.  I told her then ask for clarity too.  Ask for God to remove the clutter, the distractions, and the noise; so that she could hear His voice and His will for this situation.  She’s going to try, so we shall see.