The Parking Note

I came out of work today to find a note under the windshield wiper of my car.  It said, "Your Nissan is NOT that important! Park like a regular human #NOTSPECIAL"

For you to properly understand, I must paint the scene for you.  The parking garage we have at work is three levels and probably holds 200-250 cars per level.  On any given day, it is probably no more than 50% full.  The third level is completely empty and the second level is only half full...at best.

I park on the second level in the very last parking spot.  I have been parking here for almost a year now, and for the first six months, the closest car was probably 30 parking spots away.  The last six months, two other people have started parking right alongside me, with a sizable gap between the three of us and the next closest car.  In a phrase, I am isolated from everyone, taking the least desirable spot in the garage.

At first, I was pulling through and parking completely in the spot.  But it dawned on me one day that people like the cut the corner when turning and that my front bumper was susceptible to their turning radius.  So, I started parking half in the spot in front and half in the spot in back.  Normally, I am the first to get on a-holes that occupy two spots to protect their car.  But this is because they usually always do it in primo spots that impede other people's ability to find a spot.  I am not doing this.  Nobody is missing a place to park because I'm parked over the line.  I intentionally chose the least desirable spot, so that I wasn't impeding other people.

So, why does this note on my car bother me so much?  My first reaction was just to crumple it into a ball and throw it away.  My second reaction was more reflective.  I am actually surprised and annoyed about several things on this note:

1. I can't believe that someone took the time to go find a pad, write a note, and then walked all the way out to my car to put it under the windshield wiper.  I mean who has the time to waste doing that?!  Of course based on my current opinion of this person, I can see them being both petty and lazy enough to drive it out there...because after all, it is BFE!
2. Why is a note even necessary?  Seriously, what harm is my parking job doing?  How am I possibly affecting someone else's life?  If I pull up in the space, the space behind me will be empty...every day...guaranteed.  Nobody will park out there.  Nobody is waiting for that spot.  Why is this unknown person so concerned with it, especially when there are some 325 empty spaces to choose from, all of them closer to the building?
3. I am not the only one that parks over the line.  I can count at least four other cars that do it too, and in much more-desirable spots.  None of them had a note on their car.  So, why only pick on my car?  And the note was very specific.  Why was it necessary to mention that my Nissan is not that important?  Does this person have an issue with Nissan's?  If I had an Audi, Lexus, or BMW like the other people, would I be okay?  Why is my car not worthy because it's a Nissan?
4. I think it's a bit unfair to claim that my car is not that important or special.  It is important and special to me...obviously, or why else would I park like that?  I wouldn't make judgments about them driving a crappy Civic, because that might be important to them.  It's subjective.
5. The hashtag on a hand-written note is ridiculous.  Let's not even be that specific.  The hashtag on a note about someone's parking is ridiculous.  This generation has overused and misused the hashtag.  The very name implies that it was supposed to be a TAG.  A way for a group to be notified when a certain tag is used.  It is not and in no way becomes a descriptor simply by summarizing your blog, tweet, post, or hand-written note in a run-on sentence with a pound symbol in front of it.  If it doesn't notify anyone, then it's not a tag.  And if it serves no purpose, then stop using it.  It's just dumb.
6. And finally, I find it both comical and presumptuous to assume that a regular human parks "correctly."  What is a regular human anyway?  Who defines that?  And regular?  What an odd word choice.  I mean is it defining the difference between a human that runs on regular versus diesel?  Is it helping characterize the difference between a human that is regular versus decaf?  Maybe it's someone that has regular bowel movements versus someone that is constipated?  Let's assume they meant "normal" instead and that they are putting themselves in that category.  Why on earth would I want to be "regular," if a regular person is a moron that wastes time writing and depositing parking notes on someone's car in the middle of nowhere with nobody else around them because the parking job annoys them, despite the fact that it is not causing any harm or impeding their ability to park in any way, and who obviously takes exception to Nissans and feels better about themselves by putting down something that is special to someone else, most likely because they are jealous or envious that a Nissan is much more than they drive or possibly will ever drive, and then feels the need to fake tag the note with emphasis to a group that doesn't exist nor would probably care about the note even if they did?  That's okay, I'll take abnormal...thanks.