Sweet Emotion

Is it just me or does Siri’s voice get sexier with every new release? I know she’s a computer, but dang! Apple is even making her more realistic, so now she has these subtle inflections in her voice like excitement or questioning. It’s cute and endearing.

As she read back my text message to me today, I was reminded of that Aerosmith video for Sweet Emotion, where the guy is talking to this girl on the phone, and he’s picturing her being sexy and hot. When in reality, she’s an old woman with curlers, smoking a cigarette and ironing. I started to wonder if Siri’s sexiness was all an illusion in my head.

Happiness for Beginners

I recently watched this movie called Happiness for Beginners. It’s about a recently divorced woman who signs up for a beginner’s hiking excursion to break out of her rut and figure out her life. In the movie, there is a character named Windy who is always cheerful and positive. At some point, the other characters ask her how she maintains such a good attitude all the time, and she replies, “Every day I think of three things I’m thankful for.”

At church, we’ve been doing a message series on gratefulness. As it’s evolved, it’s taken us on a journey from changing our mindset to being grateful and realize all the things we have to be grateful for to expressing that gratitude to God and others. I realized that even though I am very grateful to God and others, I tend to focus on the things they do wrong instead of what they do well…and for me. I wanted to take a page out of Windy’s book and spend time each day focusing on things I’m thankful for, because I think changing that mindset will fill up too much time to complain.

So, tonight at dinner, after we prayed, I asked my wife and son to indulge me. I shared three things about each of them that I’m grateful for. Then, I invited them to do the same about someone else. It was a little slow and awkward, as it has been with me, but they did it. It’s not an immediate switch, but it’s a start. I’ve asked that we do this every night together, so we’ll see what God does with this from here. I’m hoping, like with anything, that we’ll all get better with practice.

Smokers

Back in college, I went to Mississippi with JT for his sister’s 16th birthday. It was the first time I had met his family, and they were nice enough to let me stay with them. JT and his sister each had a dachshund for a pet, but AT’s was much nicer than JT’s. In fact, JT’s was downright mean and vengeful toward me.

His name was Smokey, Smokers to his friends, which I learned immediately didn’t apply to me. He took an instant dislike to me, which I can only guess was because he was jealous. He was used to having his master all to himself when JT would come home from college, but this time he had to share him…with me. So, I became the object of his hatred and wrath.

He growled and barked at me. And when that didn’t scare me off, he started running at me and biting my leg. Now it should be noted that I am a dog person by nature. And generally, I get along well with them. So, it was strange to me to have this dog go out of his way to make me feel unwelcome. It should also be noted that Smokey was bipolar. Whenever he and I found ourselves in a room alone together, he was perfectly content to lay down next to me and let me pet him. But as soon as someone came into the room, he’d jump up and start growling at me again. It was almost as if he felt like he needed to keep up the ruse for everyone.

JT’s mom was an absolute sweetheart, and she was nice enough to give up her bedroom for me. So, when we go there, JT and I took our suitcases into her room. JT threw his on the bed, and I set mine in the corner. When we came back later on to get them, we found out the true extent of Smokey’s ire. Having mistaken JT’s suitcase for mine, Smokey had peed on every inch of it, soaking every article of clothing. Mad that his dog was being so unfriendly, he gave Smokey a thorough tongue-lashing before heading out to wash everything he owned.

But that only made the situation worse. Smokey decided that I was the reason that his best friend had turned on him, and a few minutes later, I caught him sneaking back into the bedroom to finish what he had started. I chased him out and threw my suitcase into the closet. But every time I needed something out of it, I had to watch my back, because Smokey would have his head poked around the corner waiting for his opportunity to run in and do a drive by. I took to going inside the closet and shutting the door before I’d open my bag. I also slept with one eye open, because any time I’d start to nod off, I’d hear the sound of uncut nails on the hardwood floor outside in the hall. I was miserable and on edge by the time I finally left, so I guess in the end, Smokey had won. And needless to say, I never stayed with JT again.

Pantless Haircut

I was taking a nap today after lunch (Long story), and I had a strange dream. I dreamed I was driving to the barbershop at this place downtown. It was across the street from this vintage clothing shop that had mannequins in the front window dressed up like 80s actors that had passed away (Not important, just weird). When I pulled up in front of the barbershop, I realized that I wasn’t wearing pants.

My first thought was to stop some place and just buy a pair of pants, so I didn’t have to go all the way home. But then I realized that if I didn’t have pants, then I didn’t have a wallet to buy pants (It didn’t seem to bother me that I’d have to walk into a clothing store to buy pants while not wearing pants, but I didn’t want to walk into the barbershop without pants).

My second thought was to just go into the barbershop without pants and hope nobody noticed. But then I realized that if I didn’t have pants, then I didn’t have a wallet to pay for a haircut (It’s funny how I had to come to this same conclusion twice). So, I had no choice but to call my wife for help. Luckily, she had been following me to the barbershop for no particular reason (It’s funny to me that I forgot my pants, but still remembered my cell phone). My hope was that she could buy me some pants and front me for the haircut, so I didn’t have to go home. But she didn’t answer my call.

While I sat in the parking lot waiting for her to call me back, outside my car, a woman with a dog walked up to her car. When the woman opened her trunk to put her items inside, the dog started sneezing. We both told the dog bless you at the same time, and then laughed at the fact that we blessed a dog’s sneeze. It didn’t seem to bother her that I wasn’t wearing pants.