Stolen Dove

To: All Office Staff
Subject: Stolen Dove

To Whomever Stole My Dove:

Someone stole the Dove candy off my desk today while I was in a meeting. You know who you are. I was looking forward to that chocolaty goodness all day, and I was not happy to find it missing. I had been enjoying it one lick at a time for the last three days, wrapping it back up after each lick so I did not consume it too quickly.

If my candy is returned by the end of the day, no further action will be taken. As you all know, I work between the hours of 8ish and 5ish. And when I say work, I mean that I am in the office, although it is likely I am just checking up on my sports or reading personal e-mail. My Dove can be returned anonomously at any time I am not at my desk. My secretary will be sure to tell me who it was.

If it is not returned today, trash can checks will be conducted daily until the culprit is found. This is a serious offense, and I expect everyone to treat it with the respect it deserves.

The Boss