Anniversary Saga - Sometimes You Want Orange Juice on Your Pants

The trip started off better than most trips in our family.  We were on-time leaving the house and we didn’t have to go back for anything.  I also managed to somehow stuff my fan and pillow in my suitcase along with all my clothes, so at least now I won’t complain about neck cramps and being unable to breathe.

A friend of mine from work agreed to drive us to the airport, so I could leave my car in the office parking garage and avoid the high airport parking prices.  However, fate would try to derail our good start by causing a fatal accident on the freeway that Joe was coming down.  Apparently, these two people had a fender bender, and when they got out to check the damage, someone else came along and hit them.  One of them died instantly, and the other was taken to the hospital in serious condition.  Not the kind of omen you want hanging over the start of your trip!

The delay made us later than expected getting to the airport, and my wife was about to tear my throat out in anxiety and worry.  Matters only got worse when we walked in the airport to the tune of a security line about 100 people deep.  Of course, all of this was somehow my fault…all a part of some elaborate scheme that I cooked up with the help of hundreds of random strangers to sabotage our trip!  I am an evil genius…you better recognize!!!!

However, God was watching over us today, because the moment we got in line, an airport attendant came along and told us about another line down the hall with very little wait.  We hoofed it down the hall, zipped through security (complete with me getting a very special pat-down from the nice TSA attendant…I’m pretty sure he enjoyed it more than I did), and made it to our gate with plenty of time to spare.

But imagine our surprise when we get to our seats only to find out that we have some other guy sitting between us.  Figuring that all of us would probably feel awkward with my wife and I holding hands in the guy’s lap, I asked him if he would mind changing seats with me.  He agreed, nice man that he was, and gladly took the aisle seat (which I found out later was what he secretly wanted all along).  But this was not to be his lucky day! 

For the fates, having already set up some dastardly prank to ruin another part of my trip, were robbed of their satisfaction as the prank was played out on this poor fool next to me instead.  When the airline attendant came to offer us drinks, she somehow managed to pour half a bottle of orange juice all over the guy’s pants!  That’ll teach him to desire the aisle seat.  So, here sits this guy with orange juice dripping off his eyebrows, his legs, his armrest, his tray table, and pretty much everywhere else; and the attendant asks, “Did I get some on you?”  Seriously?!  But to be fair, she did quickly grab a wad of napkins and eagerly (perhaps too eagerly) pat down the guy’s lap.  He didn’t complain, and the rest of the flight went off without a hitch.