Allergenic Punishment

Allergies suck, but they seem worse in Texas.  I had terrible allergies the entire time I was growing up, and then they mysteriously went away when I moved to Missouri.  Those were the best five years of my life!  Then, I came back to Texas, and I haven’t been able to breathe since.

I guess that’s not entirely true.  I get maybe one good sniff, right after I blow my nose, before it instantly fills up again.  I don’t know what it is about the state of Texas that seems to be missing from the rest of the country.  You would think that my body would have developed immunities to whatever is here after all of these years.  I think the plants here are mutating and adapting so that their pollen remains potent.  With all of these scientists out there mutating plants at a genetic level, you’d think someone would have been pumping millions of dollars into figuring out how to neutralize the allergenic effect of pollen.

JS said that he went on a trip to Alabama a few weeks ago, and the moment he crossed into Arkansas, he could suddenly breathe.  He said it was weird, like there was a defining line where the allergens stopped.  His theory is that when Texas joined the union and added the clause that we could secede at any time and become our own country, that the U.S. government got mad.  But they couldn’t not take Texas in, since it would instantly double the size of the country.  So, they decided to punish us instead by shipping all allergenic plants and substances to Texas.  Then, to pour salt in an open wound, they opened all the drug companies in the Northeast, so that Texans would have to rely on the U.S. for medicine.  If we ever try to leave, then they’ll just cut off our drugs.

So, essentially, Texans can’t breathe because the rest of the country is jealous that we were smart enough to give ourselves a way out.  Petty…just petty.