Apathy is Still an Emotion

Last week, our microwave went out.  No warning.  Just gave up the ghost one night.  Luckily, we still had our old countertop microwave from our previous home, so I pulled it out, dusted it off, and set it up.  It was great.  I had forgotten how much I had loved that microwave.  Then, a couple of days ago, it too went out.  Barring the obvious concern that we have an electrical problem in our kitchen, the more pressing concern is that we don’t have a way to nuke food.  You don’t really realize how much you rely on a microwave until you don’t have one.  We use it to heat up leftovers, water, breakfast, and steamer bags of rice or vegetables.  In short, this greatly affects every single meal we eat.

So, I was at Wal-Mart today, and the wife asked me to look at microwaves…not as a permanent solution, but just something cheap to get us by.  I found something that looked passable and went to read some reviews online.  While I was looking at the web page, I noticed that the online price was $20 less.  My thought process was that since this is a piece-of-crap, throw-away microwave anyway, I don’t want to spend that much on it.  So, saving $20 to order it online seems like a good idea.  Not to mention that you can have them “ship” it to the store for free.  So, I placed the order and received the email that said it would be ready “Later Today,” and that I would get another email when it was ready.  This was around 5:30 p.m.   Yes, that will be significant later on.

I proceeded to wander around the store for an hour waiting for that promised email, which never came.  Finally, I added my wife as an alternate picker-upper, and went home.  When my wife went to the store to pick up the microwave, they couldn’t find it in their little room of treasures.  So, they looked up the order and told her that it wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow, because it was put in too late.  Now, imagine that I’m having a texting conversation with the wife the entire time this stupid charade is going on in front of her.  I was growing more and more frustrated by this stupidity.  I mean I had just SEEN them sitting on the shelf an hour and a half ago.

Finally, the wife handed the phone to the man behind the counter, and this is a rough idea of how the conversation went.  I will refer to the Customer Service Manager as CSM.

CSM:  Hello, sir.

Me:  Hi.  So, I’m not understanding the problem here.

CSM:  Well, the computer is showing that the order was placed at 6:15 p.m., which means it won’t be fulfilled until tomorrow.

Me:  But I have an email receipt that shows that I placed the order at 5:30 p.m., and it clearly says that the order will be ready “Later Today.”

CSM:  Well, I can’t speak to that, because I don’t personally send out those emails.  All I can tell you is what is in front of me.

Me [losing my patience]:  Oh…kay…then can you just go over and pick up one off the shelf.

CSM:  No, sir.  The people that pick up things off the shelf aren’t here anymore.

Me [really losing my patience]:  Are you kidding me?!  What if my wife goes over and picks it up off the shelf and brings it back to your little counter?  Can you process the order then?

CSM:  No, sir.  There is more involved than just picking it up off the shelf.  Those people also have a special scanner, and they are the only ones that can use it.

Me [totally lost it]:  Are you listening to yourself?!  My wife is standing right there in front of you!  Are you seriously telling me that you’re going to inconvenience her again by making her come back tomorrow?!

CSM:  There is nothing I can do, sir.

Me:  Can you cancel the online order and ring up the one off the shelf at the online price?

CSM:  No, sir.  If we go get the one off the shelf, then I have to sell it to you at the shelf price.

Me:  Oh…my…god!  This is ridiculous.  You have to know how ridiculous this is.  Fine.  Whatever.

We just took a customer service class at work.  In that class, they told us not to meet emotion with emotion.  Well, this guy couldn’t have been more apathetic or uncaring.  He was making no effort to help us.  He could have used a manager override to change the price of the shelf microwave.  But he wasn’t going to do that.  He didn’t care enough.  He didn’t care at all.  Well, I hate to tell him this, but apathy is still an emotion, and this was a complete failure.

So, here I sit writing this rant.  To quote Chaucer from A Knight’s Tale, “I will eviscerate you in fiction.  I was naked for a day, but you will be naked for all of eternity.”  Well, here you go Wal-Mart and stupid moron CSM.  You are eviscerated!