Shelby

I spent thanksgiving with my father and stepmother this year.  I was amazed and saddened at how old their dog Shelby is looking.  He’s fifteen now, my dad having gotten him just before my wife and I got married.  I remember the day my father brought him home, this little black and white fur ball.  He was so skittish and shy at first, not knowing what to make of all of these new people that were suddenly looming up around him.  I remember getting down in the grass with him so he wouldn’t feel so small and scared.  Slowly, slowly he walked towards me, sniffed me, and climbed into my lap.  He curled up in a little ball, chewing on my finger yet still watching everyone with one eye.  

Ever since that moment, we had a bond.  I played with him all the time, trying to wear out his inexhaustible energy.  Whenever we would watch movies on Friday nights, he would lay next to me on the couch...much to my father’s disappointment and irritation.  As much as my father likes to think that Shelby was his dog, he was wrong.  He was always my dog...my boy...from that first moment in the yard.  Even when I got married and moved away, Shelby was my dog.  Whenever I would come home, he would excitedly greet me at the door.  Something he would never do with my father.  Lately, his greetings are less exuberant than they once were, but he still stiffly lifts himself up and comes waddling to the door to greet me.  Nowadays, he has no interest in running around or playing.  He just likes to lean against my leg while I stroke his head and that spot right behind his ears.  He closes his eyes and drifts away into blissful happiness.  For a moment, he doesn’t hurt anymore.  For a moment, he just relaxes into the knowledge that he is totally and completely loved.

He’s still my boy.  Maybe a little skinnier.  Maybe a little grayer around the snout.  But still my dog.  I wish I could see him more, especially as he nears the end.  I want his last moments to be the best, where someone always has time to stroke that spot behind his ears that he loves so much.  I want him to always remember that I love him.  My dog.  My boy.