Another One Bites the Dust

Yesterday, my new boss quit, a month and a half to the day of my previous boss quitting.  She was still only in the role as a temporary substitute, having never had it made permanent, but it still feels like another setback.  I can’t fault her decision, which was driven by a need to be closer to home and be more readily-available to her family.  But at the same time, I feel abandoned.

I am now the sole lead left in the office.  Worse still, I am the sole person left on my entire row!  It is very lonely, not just the physical loneliness of not having anyone to talk to, but the feeling like an ally and confidant is gone.  We had grown very close, especially in the last month, and now I feel as if I’m on an island by myself, attempting to fight off a vicious band of cannibals with a shoe and a paperclip.  It might have been smoke and mirrors, but I felt safer knowing that someone was there who had my back.  Like we outnumbered “them” somehow.  And now that the odds are evened, I feel vulnerable, like my armor has been stripped off and my skin laid bare.

But I get it.  She couldn’t stay back for me.  She had to do what was right for her.  She had to move forward and not look back at the ones she was leaving behind.  In the end, no matter what we try to tell ourselves, it’s every man for himself.  The only loyalty is to ourselves.