The Couch

Yesterday, we went shopping for couches, which is something that we have been attempting to purchase unsuccessfully for years.  After 3 hours, my wife was so fed up with the process, that she impulsively bought the very next couch that I said was passable.  Unfortunately, it ended up being an extremely expensive purchase, so after the sales lady walked away, my wife said that she hoped that I enjoy my Christmas gift.  I quickly exclaimed that we needed to back that roller coaster up one minute.  How is it that somehow my wife got a new laptop for Christmas, courtesy of Black Friday, and I get the couches that everyone in the house gets to use?!

Well that ain’t happening.  If it’s my gift, then nobody else gets to sit on it!  I want free rein to sit in any seat I want any time I want.  If someone wants to park their tuches on MY couch, then I’m going to charge them rent by the hour.  I’m going to develop a webpage where they can sign up and enter their credit card information, so they can automatically be billed.  And there won’t be any proration either.  Any part of an hour is charged the whole hour!  I figured that my couch tariff should net me enough money to afford a laptop of my own next year.