Leek Soup and the Flatulating Tree

A friend of ours gave us a recipe that he created for a leek soup. It’s not really a soup, because he puts it on other things like pasta or rice, so I’d say it’s more of a leek sauce. Regardless, it’s chock full of a variety of vegetables and beef. Surprisingly, I actually find it incredibly tasty, despite my aversion to many “exotic” vegetables (leek is exotic to me). The downside that we found is that it tends to give everyone in the house gas. And I mean very audible, blow the covers off the bed, could clear a room or kill small farm animals gas.

But what I can’t figure out is if that’s just a natural side effect to the leek soup/sauce or if my spousal unit changed something in the ingredients. So, I’m trying to figure out a polite way to ask my friend if the leek soup/sauce also gives him flatulence, but no matter how I approach it, I can’t seem to weave it into a conversation. I feel like it would be a conversation killer. Like where do you go after that incredibly random and awkward exchange?

This got me thinking. Do trees flatulate? I know what you’re thinking. How did he go from leek soup/sauce to flatulating trees? (Well, at least some of you may be thinking that. Some of you may be wondering what the color nine smells like, but I can’t help you with that.) Well, when you’re discussing with your mother about your dilemma over how to bring up leek soup/sauce flatulence in a conversation (this is how I know it’s a conversation killer), and you’re staring out the window at your beautiful red oak tree in the backyard, it’s not such a leap.

So, do they? Do trees toot? If you poured leek soup/sauce on their roots would they toot more? How would you measure if the amount of flatulence increased after absorbing the leek soup/sauce? Forget curing cancer, this is where we should be putting our research money!

I guess we figured out where you go after bringing up the fact that leek soup/sauce gives you gas. You talk about flatulating trees and the effect of leek soup/sauce on their gas. But that’s it. There’s no hope after that. You just have to walk away at that point.

UPDATE: I found out that my spousal unit has been omitting bell peppers from the recipe. Perhaps the bell pepper acts as a counteragent to reduce the amount of flatulence caused by the leek soup/sauce. Maybe our friend added them by experience and necessity. Maybe he learned the hard way that something more was needed.

So, I’ve asked my spousal unit to add the bell peppers next time to see if it reduces the overall flatulence level in the house. This could perhaps save my friendship as well!