The Rooster Walk

Today I am going to talk about the "Rooster Walk." The Rooster Walk is what a rooster does when he is strutting his stuff across the barnyard for all of the hens. He will puff out his chest, fluff up his tail feathers, stick his beak up in the air, elevate that little red glove-thing on his head, and slowly and meticulously take step after step, raising each leg up almost to his chest. He will "strut" like this from one side of the barnyard to the other, and then turn around and go back again. It is his way of showing who the "man" is.

Now that you hopefully have a vivid picture of what this looks like in your mind, I will get to the point. Whenever I win a competition with my wife or do something extraordinary that she is not expecting, I will do the "Rooster Walk" across the den. I puff my chest out, stick my butt out as far as I can manage, stick my nose up in the air, and take slow and deliberate steps, raising each knee up high in the air and fully extending my leg before I put it down. I strut like this back and forth across the den until she loses herself in uncontrollable laughter or throws something at me.

Some people lick their fingers and touch it to themselves, making sizzling noises in the process. Some people pat themselves on the back. Some people grunt. I do the "Rooster Walk."